People love complaining about celebrity nomenclature choices. It’s a real past time, right up there with licking cake batter off the spatula and watching high school football, but I’ve actually supported most of the unusual names. After all, my parents named me after Mack on Knot’s Landing; so, who the hell am I to point fingers? But even I shuddered a bit when I heard General Hospital star Ingo Rademacher slapped his unfortunate son with the moniker Peanut Kai.

Well, Rademacher sat down with People Magazine and issued a bit of an explanation, telling the celeb rag, “We were calling him that when he was in mommy.” Great. At least they didn’t go with that fucking kid as in “that fucking kid is kicking again.” Apparently, the boy’s middle name, Kai, is Hawaiian for water. So, just to hit refresh, they named their baby peanut water, probably the most horrible sounding beverage ever conceived and a possible feature direction for Vitamin Water.