In all my days of covering celebrity tomfoolery, I have never been so offended by something I’ve come across. New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez cheated on his wife–I know boring, you’ve already heard this–but with, of all things, a stripper--getting steamier-- from Boston. I know! I think I speak for all Yankee fans out there when I say: what the fuck, A-Rod? Still not seedy enough for you, yet? He stuck his bat inside the enemy dugout during the 2004 ALCS Championship Series. Yes, the same one in which the Bronx Bombers blew a three-to-nothing lead. For shame!

According to Fox News, the stripper, Candice Houlihan, told the Boston Herald, "Good for her. I think she's doing the smart thing. And she'll probably get tons of cash." Well said, random B-Town floozy. That’s what marriage is about, breaking up to make that money money.

Honestly, does anyone know where this story will turn next? Madonna and Lenny Kravitz have already been involved. My gut tells me the drama will continue to get more nonsensical, but I’m not sure that’s even possible at this point.