Some days Anthony Weiner posts junk-shots on Twitter, other days you discover that Neil Patrick Harris and Diablo Cody share the same birthday. Not all tweets, and not all Tweet Blends are created equal, but I trust you'll excuse a lackluster day of tweets with the hope that tomorrow is a new and better day. As the great Buster Olney always signs off with on his baseball articles on ESPN, today will be better than yesterday. There's your slightly misguided sports journalism reference for the day, now go laugh at how much of a douche bag Dane Cook is and at the notion of NPH being old. Seriously, the guy probably still gets carded at 7-11.

Dane Cook
Sex with a stranger is exhilarating especially when they know exactly who you are.

Neil Patrick Harris
I'm old right now…

Chris Hardwick
According to your tweets, House of 1000 Corpses is airing. Enjoy 2001 Fat Hardwick! The xtra weight gave me more "Dr. SATAAAAAAAN" power.

Andy Milonakis
I feel like sometimes I do shady shit on twitter then I delete my incriminating tweet after it's done

Donnie Wahlberg
I'm remembering that there is a Waffle House not too far from Pittsburgh! May have to make a stop after the show tomorrow.…

Stephen Colbert
Tim Pawlenty will make a great Vice-President. Or failing that, an extra in a documentary about manila envelopes.

Penn Jillette
Judging "Miss U.S.A" this Sunday. I'm worried that this is one of those things where the reality is very very different from the fantasy.

Brook Busey
Happy birthday to me. I don't look a day over 37. Can I add Barefoot Bubbly to baby's organic juice and call it a Bellini?