Uwe Boll, infamous for making movies that critics (and everyone else for that matter) love to hate, challenged some of his most vocal opponents to a boxing match. Four movie critics stepped in the ring this weekend for their chance to do what so many of us would like to: hit him square in the face. The results were almost as disappointing as having to watch one of Boll's movies.
The Canadian AP reported a 4-0 victory for Boll. Richard Kyanka, webmaster of www.somethingawful.com, went first. After mockingly declaring to the Canadian crowd that their country was harboring a terrorist by hosting Boll, he was KO'd by the director in the first round.
Jeff Sneider of Ain't It Cool News went next. He bowed out taking a technical knock out, complaining that what he expected to be a PR stunt was nothing more than "getting punched in the head". What part of boxing did he not understand?
Chris Alexander of Rue Morgue radio and magazine was third. He managed a slick trick of his own first, though, spewing out blood from the mouth after a particularly brutal round of punches to the head. It was fake, but looked real enough to give Boll a start. "I spat it out. I freaked him out exactly like I wanted to do, it was poetry," said Alexander. "It was my Jedi mind trick to try and disorient him." It was a moral victory though, and Boll still won the match with a knock out.
Last up was Nelson Chance Mintner, a 17 year-old web site critic. He went out with a TKO, giving Boll a perfect victory over his critics.
It was an embarrassing turn out for the critics, but a boost for Boll who is prepping his next project In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. It's yet another in his series of awful video game to movie adaptations. Following the fights, Boll offered this small consolation to the critics: "I like now the critics. Everybody who was in the ring showed (guts). Nobody dived.". You may like them Uwe, but I don't think they're going to like you any better for this. Maybe if you gave up making movies and moved full time to pro boxing?