Amy Winehouse’s husband Blake Fielder-Civil was finally sentenced today. The C-rate hoodlum will spend the next twenty-seven months in jail for pummeling a pub manager and then offering him four hundred grand to keep quiet. Great. This should pave the way for more Winehouse on-stage breakdowns and dedications to her incarcerated husband or maybe, a shotgun divorce.

According to TMZ, the sentence broke down to fifteen months for unlawful wounding and another twelve months for perverting the court of justice. He’s been locked up since November, and I’ll have to check with CB legal expert Katey Rich but I assume he’ll get credit for time served.

It’s because of times like these, I thank God for the wonderful advice of previous generations…