Holy Timothy Leary chicanery! Amy Winehouse is a goddamn pothead. And not in the way I’m a pothead. Or in the way your seventeen year old long-haired brother is a pothead. Nope. She’s a pothead in the way Doug Benson from Best Week Ever was a pothead when he smoked constantly for thirty days in Super High Me.

According to The New York Daily News, Miss Amy walking overdose Winehouse’s last stay in the hospital was spurred on by thirty-six straight hours of hash smoking. That is absurd! How is it even fun anymore at that point?

In a completely related cause-and-effect story, doctors have publicly stated Amy’s Caligulian drug use may have caused permanent effects to her brain. Shocker! Someone please make the madness stop.