The Wicker Man (2006) - Review

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Length: 97 min

Rated: PG-13

Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures

Release Date: 2006-09-01

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Frances Conroy, Molly Parker, Leelee Sobieski, Diane Delano, Michael Wiseman, Erika-Shaye Gair

Directed by Neil LaBute

Produced by Nicolas Cage

Written by Neil LaBute

Visit the movie's Official Site!

Reviewed by Josh Tyler : 2006-09-01 02:42:51

Wicker Man may be a remake, but at least it's not another remake of an Asian horror movie. The Wicker Man is all American, and with that comes an obvious plot and a decided lack of scares. It also means Nicolas Cage instead of an unknown teenage actress or worse, Sarah Michelle Gellar.

The film begins with a shocking car wreck, surprising more because if its suddenness than because of anything unique done with its filming. Nicolas Cage plays Edward Malus, a rail thin motorcycle cop on the scene when a parked station wagon carrying a mother and daughter is struck head on by a Mac truck. Malus leaps into action and struggles to save the little girl, but the car bursts into flames, and then (as they so often do in Hollywood movies) explodes.

Malus is haunted by the accident, and his resulting nightmares only get worse when he receives a letter from an ex-fiancée asking for help to find her missing daughter. Malus is eager to play the hero, and leaps into action. Leaping into action means traveling to a remote Pacific coast island called Summer Isle, home to a strange, isolationist, religious cult dominated by women. It's kind of like The Village, if the women had cut out all the men's tongues.

There Malus finds his ex-fiancée and begins an investigation to find her daughter. He's stonewalled at every turn, and as his frustration builds Nic Cage gradually loses all control over his hair. The man doesn't have much left as it is, so when he's no longer able to manage those few wisps you know things have gotten pretty bad.

Long before the movie ends with its big reveal, you'll know what's going on, whether or not you've seen the original. That's alright, getting there is pleasant even if you've figured out where The Wicker Man is headed. It's Cage, the guy's just a pleasure to watch. Writer/director Neil LaBute seems to know just how to use him, and sends him panicking and panting all over the island in a desperate, probably futile hunt for non-existent clues.

If there's a problem with the film, it's the script, or perhaps it would be more correct to say the concept. As a 1976 cult thriller starring Christopher Lee, The Wicker Man was pretty scary. LaBute does a decent job of translating it to 2006, but the idea behind it just isn't as cool as it once was. In LaBute's version, the not-so-surprising surprise ending seems silly and laughable, and I'm not sure there really is any way he could have saved it. I might have started by not having Nic Cage running around in a bear suit, but other than that I don't know where else there is to go with it. The Wicker Man is capably handled, it just doesn't work anymore.

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HINa & Ann Says:
September 4th, 2006 at 18:07
this is the stupidest movie on the universe. the producer was smokin pot when the wrote the story lineeeeee!!

Matthew C. Says:
September 12th, 2006 at 19:18
Whats up with the extreme lack of scary special effects! This movie's script was probably in a public restroom used as toilet paper when there is none and the director got the bright idea of turning this crap infested pile into a motion picture. WASTE OF MONEY!!! Don't waste time watching it and spend nice, quite, quality time in the john reading a book that some director has read and will probably make into a dungfest film. The bear suit was so faggitly gay.

bimmbimm Says:
December 21st, 2006 at 14:46
"... at least it's not another remake of an Asian horror movie. The Wicker Man is all American ..."

as far as i know, the original is from great britain.

wickerwoman Says:
January 1st, 2007 at 22:52
this movie is the worst. nicolas cage is a girly-man. it made me wet, then dry, then wet again, only to leave me with the driest sensation EVERRRRR. dont watch this movie unless you like vaginal chaffing.

JKH Says:
January 22nd, 2007 at 14:20
What was Nick Cage thinking? An exploding car scene that never really links back to anything? Visions that are never explained nor are useful? The bear suit? Smacking women? The barely coherent ex-fiancee? The Willow character was particulary irritating. No cop in the world would have stood for all her inability to answer simple questions. Practical policework would have had him swimming back to the mainland after the first night. Nick either didn't read the script, or just wanted the work. This is a must-miss.

OMG Says:
March 11th, 2007 at 12:59
OMG. What the heck was Nicholas Cage thinking???? He is wayyyyyy to good for a movie like this, a cruddy remake. I thought the only part that was good whatsoever was only the first 2 or three minutes when the car explodes. Other than that, I dont even know. It is very confusing and weird in my opinion. I only let my eyes watch this because I wanted to know if it got any better! The explosion really has nothing to do with anything else. If you are reading this, it is a waste of $3.99 on OnDemand to buy it. Nicholas Cage, you either lost your touch, turned crazy, or were completely desperate when you decided to do this movie.

Katie O. Says:
March 26th, 2007 at 00:32
This was by far the worst movie I've ever seen Nicholas Cage in. I could do nothing but laugh histericly at the end over all of the rediculous parts. It was either laugh or want to vomit over the thought of having spent even a mere 3.99 on the rental of this movie. Between him karate kicking a girl in the throat and running thru the woods in a bear costume and punching another woman in the face in order to "save" the little girl was just, well lets just say I'm still laughing about it. There was nothing scary about it and none of the parts of the movie tie into one another. No questions are ever answered. I wish I had read the other comments on this site before I had rented it. Please if you do, DO NOT watch this movie. You will only be annoyed and just a little dumber for having done so.

I HATED IT!!! Says:
July 12th, 2008 at 01:11
It was by FAR thee WORST movie I have ever watched! IT wasnt even scary.....The plot was horrible..The END was even worse come on they could have left the airplane man alive! GEESH...It JUST SUCKED BOOTY BIG TIME!!

Chell Says:
July 21st, 2008 at 17:48
Whoever gave this movie three stars must have a.d.d. or something wicker man was by far the worst movie i've ever seen. there was no plot of the movie at the beginning why didn't they just knock him out then and cage him up until the ceremony instead of creating a huge pointless elaborate story that us watchers painfully have to sit through (well not the smart ones).
Honestly one of the worst movies I've seen if you do want to see it I'd recommand having at least 7-8 drinks before hand.

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