When Will I Be Loved

When Will I Be Loved
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When Will I Be Loved Neve Campbell has fallen off the radar since her days as the consistently crying Sidney Prescott in the Scream Trilogy and has spent that time doing rounds on the indie circuit. This year we find her in When Will I Be Loved, the new pseudo seductive rip off from writer/director James Toback (Two Girls and a Guy). Despite showing herís, naked Neve can not save this movieís ass as it puts the indie in Indecent Proposal .

Vera (Neve Campbell) leads a life drenched in luxury in Uptown Manhattan courtesy of her well off parents. Her boyfriend Ford (Fred Weller), is nothing more than a two-bit hustler looking to jump into the entertainment industry in some fashion. The two seem to have a very odd and open relationship from the get go, that is until Ford pimps out Vera to the Italian media mogul Count Tommaso (Dominic Chianese) accepting one hundred thousand dollars from him for a night with Vera. Because money is no object to Vera, Ford thinks heíll keep the money for himself. Low and behold deception and drama unfold as troubles arise between the three parties causing ultimate tragedy.

Vera might be a sexually empowered woman, ready to jump anything that moves, but her little antics, and those of Ford, makes this film borderline pornography. In the first five minutes of this eighty-one minute flick is a masturbating shower scene. Ten minutes later a foursome during broad daylight in a park with Ford and three random girls, inter-cut with Vera led lesbian scene. When characters have sex every three or four scenes, Iím sorry...Thatís porn. Which is fine, I can accept that. Porn is okay. Just donít cut away during the deed. You do that, and its porn masqueraded as pretentious art. That my friends, really sucks. Then again, nobody really wants to see a ďmoney shotĒ from Junior Soprano.

Acting wise, anybody could have done this. The characters were all bland so nobody had a lot to work with. The only good ďperformanceĒ in this movie was from the two minutes Mike Tyson was on screen. Yeah, you heard me. Mike Tyson. His scene on the street is hysterical, lets just pretend heís not Mike Tyson, heís ďBuckĒ. Iíll leave it at that. Everyone else, wasted. Karen Allen (Raiders of the Lost Ark) has one scene and you donít realize itís her until it is too late. Dominic Chianese (The Godfather Part II) needs to continue being mafia guys, Fred Weller needs better work to showcase his potential, and Neve Campbell needs to keep her shirt on...pants can stay off...but keep the shirt on.

Why has no one realized that this is an Indecent Proposal rip-off? Granted itís an interesting plot device for a married couple to go through, but not for a boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean seriously. What was James Toback thinking of other than just more ways to have cool dialogue? I donít get it. I also donít get why Neve decided to go in the buff for this tripe rather than in Wild Things like we all wanted her to. But no, she takes her shirt off and they fade to black. I seriously donít get it. And if you were to see this I doubt youíd get it either.

When Will I Be Loved is nothing more than brazen indie softcore porn; plain and simple. The only reason to see this movie is to catch a glimpse at Neve Campbellís succulent hindquarters. Sadly thatís the opening shot of the movie. Itís downhill from there. Skip it and go pick up something with Jenna Jameson in it. Now thatís a ďlimited releaseĒ I wouldnít mind going out of my way for.

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4 / 10 stars
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