The Miracle Of 3-Ply Toilet Paper Is A Reality

Remember this day folks because it is a watershed moment. Since 1917 nothing has been a better benchmark than sliced bread. Today we change the phrase to: “the greatest thing since tri-ply toilet paper.” Not long before we move on to the 3 sea shells the greatest minds in all of science have been able to produce toilet paper with three layers of anus loving softness. Dropping the kids off at the pool will never be the same again.

Some specialists believe that the toilet paper of the future will feature stronger structure, not softer. Poppycock I say. Softer is clearly better. If we sophisticated humans wanted a stronger wipe we’d use leaves, or bark. That doesn’t sound like the kind of TP that Cornholio, or any of us, would want to place in our bathroom.

Researchers at Georgia Pacific’s Innovation Institute in Neenah, WI have created the 3-ply toilet paper. The product will launch on Monday with marketing focused on 45 year old women and older. Hey, we all enjoy a soft wipe.