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TV Recap: The Amazing Race 13- Bees Are Much Calmer Than All This!
By Matt Norris: 2008-09-28 23:18:54
The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights at 8:00 pm but be prepared for it to never start on time. NFL games on CBS will run late almost every week when a 4:00 pm game is shown so make sure to adjust your DVR accordingly. Now on to the recap.
God it’s good to see Phil’s mug again. Phil is on top of some huge arse building in Los Angeles while some snazzy cars bring the 11 teams to the Los Angeles Coliseum. The Coliseum is the starting point for the race around the world for $1,000,000. I wonder if you get that million in euros? Our dollar is sort of sucking these days you know. If you need to familiarize yourself with the eleven teams, go read my TAR Team Details and Predictions story. If you have already read it or don’t give a damn about what I’ve said, here’s a quick synopsis of the eleven teams: Terence/Sarah-newly dating Anthony/Stephanie-dating Toni/Dallas-Mother/Son Aja/Ty-long distance relationship Mark/Bill-best friends Nick/Starr-siblings Anita/Arthur-beekeepers Ken/Tina-separated couple Kelly/Christy-friends (both divorced) Andrew/Dan-fraternity brothers Marisa/Brooke-best friends In my preview I made some predictions of each team. I made characterizations based completely on photos and bios so watch for my opinions on teams to change as I actually get to watch teams in action. As for my predictions of which team will go home each week, I’ll show what I predicted and what happened at the end of each column. It should be fun to revel in my ignorance. I’m looking forward to the hate mail from fans of a few teams. Phil yells “GO!” and all eleven teams scamper up the Coliseum stairs to grab their luggage and their first clues. The race is only three seconds old when I hear Ken yell at Tina to hurry up. At this rate the divorce might happen by episode five. The first clue tells the teams to drive their car to the Los Angeles airport and fly to Salvador Brazil via a connector flight in Rio de Janeiro. Mercedes must be an official sponsor as all eleven teams jump in a sharp looking Benz and take off. I would have loved to drive by Team Hippie Claus (Anita/Arthur) as they drove a Mercedes-Benz. That was just too funny of a sight. Tina is in the backseat yelling at Ken to drive like a freakin MAN and pass these other teams. He doesn’t seem to get mad at her though so my predictions of them having a huge blow out might be all for naught. I might just be stuck with a very annoying woman criticizing everything he does. Well he did cheat on her and decided to do a reality show with her. He has it coming if you ask me. Aja/Ty are the first to park at the airport and they jump on the shuttle to the terminal. Once in the terminal, they go to the main American Airlines ticket counter but do not notice there is not an “Amazing Race” marker. A few other teams fall in behind them making the same mistake. Mark/Bill, Ken/Tina, and Terrance/Sarah are the first to see the marker and they are the first three teams to get on the earlier arriving flight to Brazil. Nick/Starr went the wrong way getting to the airport and Anita/Arthur stopped to milk some bees or something but eventually all teams made it to the airport. At some point, all the teams that hopped in line behind Aja/Ty realize they are morons and go to the correct ticket booth. At this point we start getting some contestant interaction and it doesn’t take long to realize that Dan is the most annoying person so far. He never shuts up about the fact he worked in the travel industry and basically annoying the hell out of everybody around him. He almost cries when he gets up to the ticket counter and cannot get on the first flight. Poor Andrew must really need a friend to put up with this whiner. I owe an apology so far to Marisa/Brooke. They are much better than a couple of people in the race already (more on that later). The eleven teams are divided on two different flights: Flight One (American Airlines): Mark/Bill; Ken/Tina; Terance/Sarah; Nick/Starr; Aja/Ty; Kelly/Christy. Flight Two (United Airlines): Toni/Dallas; Andrew/Dan; Anita/Arthur; Marisa/Brooke; Anthony/Stephanie. The first flight has about a 2 hour head start over the 2nd flight. Once landed, all teams must travel by taxi through Salvador to find the sandwich shop “O Rei Do Pernil”. Mark/Bill are the first to get the clue which states that teams must wheel a vending cart to Praça da Sé where they must find a guy with the next clue. These carts are about as sturdy as a 6-year old’s tinker toy car. The carts are stacked with random crap and it takes some careful steering to get the carts through the streets. Terence/Sarah do a pretty good job of moving the cart and end up first to get the next clue. The next clue states that teams are to go to the military base and spend the night. Teams would sign up for one of three departure times based on their arrival at the military base. After all teams arrive at the base, we know that teams will depart as follows: 9:00- Terance/Sarah; Nick/Starr; Mark/Bill; Ken/Tina. 9:30- Aja/Ty; Kelly/Christy; Andrew/Dan. 9:45- Toni/Dallas; Anita/Arthur; Marisa/Brooke; Anthony/Stephanie. Since the teams are taking a break, let me give you a mid-episode breakdown. Terance is a damn sissy. At one point during the overnight break, he said “Sarah is talking to the other teams while I need her to hold me.” Dude. You want her to HOLD YOU? It isn’t the fact that he likes to cuddle with his woman that bothers me. It’s the fact that he’s whining about his girlfriend talking to people instead of retreating to their mosquito net so she can tell him a bedtime story and tuck him in. I wonder if they can make Dan and Terance partners so I can cheer for them to go home tonight. Make it happen, Phil! The following morning, teams depart according to their times and that means Terance/Sarah are the first to leave. All teams are to take a taxi to Pelourinho, the historic center of Salvador. Once there, they have to find a specific church where they can find their next clue. Oh man, I sound like Phil but without the snazzy wardrobe department. As per usual, teams cannot figure out how to hail a taxi but eventually they all grab one. Terence/Sarah arrive first despite Terence’s sissy self complaining about Sarah running too fast. Keep in mind that Terence runs marathons; apparently in the 9-13 yr old girls division. BURN! The next clue is actually the Detour. At the Detour, teams can choose between two ways to accomplish a task. This time teams get to choose between the “Hard Way Up” and the “Soft Way Down.” “The Hard Way Up” entails climbing up a huge stairway on your knees where the team must answer an unknown question. If they miss the question they must walk around the block and start again. “Soft Way Down” involves taking an elevator up a tower and then climbing down a cargo net. The obvious choice is the cargo net and every team realizes this but Andrew/Dan. I’m really excited at the idea of Dan going home. Terance/Sarah go the wrong way which leads to Nick/Starr and Ken/Tina heading down the cargo net first. Once down, they realize the pit stop is next and they rush to the end. Nick/Starr finish first and win two tickets to Belize for a 5 night vacation. Nice prize for the siblings if you ask me. Ken/Tina check-in second with Terance/Sarah finishing 3rd. The rest of the top six are Mark/Bill, Kelly/Christy, and Toni/Dallas. 
As mentioned before, Andrew/Dan decided to climb the steps. Once they got to the top, they were asked “How many steps did you just climb?” They had no clue of course. They turned around and tried to count but got it wrong. They were sent back around the block and ordered to try it again. On the second time they got the number of stairs right. I mean, they are college graduates and should be able to count to up to 53. Unfortunately for me and humanity, Andrew/Dan sprint to the finish line and are the 7th team to check in with Aja/Ty only seconds behind in. The battle not to be last is less dramatic than the editors make it out to be. Anthony/Stephanie finish 9th and the team I predicted to go home tonight, Marisa/Brooke come in 10th. Sadly, my acid-tripping beekeepers, Anita/Arthur, finish last. There wasn’t much hope for them to win it all, but they seem like good people and I was hoping for them to survive a few weeks.
Prediction Analysis: Well, I didn’t get Anita and Arthur’s departure correct although in my head I knew they would probably go home first. I liked them so much that my heart allowed me to think they could survive to the 4th team eliminated. The team I did pick to lose, Marisa/Brooke, finished 2nd to last so all is not lost with my random prognostications. In all fairness though, I picked Anthony/Stephanie to win it all and they are worrying me after a 9th place finish. We’ll see how bad the predictions turn out next week. Episode Summary: The first episode is always tough to put your finger on the pulse of the teams. With eleven teams, most teams don’t get much air time. While Terence/Sarah, Ken/Tina, and Nick/Starr got a lot of screen time, it’s too early for me to know much about most of the other teams. One of the good things about recapping is that I have studied up more on the teams than I normally would have. It would be nice if the first episode was expanded to 90 minutes so that we can get more time with the contestants. Weekly Winners/Losers: Each episode I’m going to give out awards. There is no set number of awards I’ll hand out. It’s just what my initial reaction is after the show airs. This week’s award for Most Impressive Team goes to Nick/Starr. I was really surprised that they were so smart and competitive. I think I’ve underestimated them. They also worked quite impressive for siblings. There is no way I could play this game with my brothers. The dubious “I want to punch him in the face” award goes to Terence. It’s time you got some testicular fortitude and stopped whining about your girl not understanding your feelings. Suck it up! You are embarrassing America. And your Mom. Until next week! RELATED: television, amazing race, beekeepers, reality, TV, CBS, phil koenig
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