This week's Smallville started out pretty quietly, with Lois and Clark about to smooch and then the phone rings. Nothing really important happened until Lois, searching for Clark, went into a dark abandoned building (because that's where Clark hangs out sometimes) only to find a barely alive John Corben AKA Metallo, who needs to charge his Kryptonite heart. All that trying to kill Lois stuff from before is all good now, because John told her that when they changed his body they messed with his mind. Isn't that convenient.
Clark turned into "Bad Clark" again due to some red Kryptonite at the lab he'd followed Lois to. Then, with new attitude in tow, he found out about the Kryptonite stockpiles when visiting Chloe. So he punished her by burning his symbol into the wall? That ... showed her? Bad Clark decided to destroy the Kryptonite deposits one by one and met up with a now fully-powered Metallo. Looks like we're in for an epic fight ... Nope, Zod blew it up instead, revealing that he has powers to Clark.
Has Smallville hired a fourteen year old boy to write for this show? We got another awkward naked scene; this time with Metallo and Lois. Chloe's snooping again, no surprise there, and she meets and teams up with Tess? Zod scores yet another monologue, this time about trust, and Bad Clark ends up believing him. On a positive note, Metallo has sweet Terminator vision, but also a hole in his neck where anyone can plug in brain control things, so long as they have one on hand. Zod monologued next about family and, in what I saw as a plea to get him to shut up, Bad Clark took Zod to the Fortress of Solitude. Old Monologue McGee gave another speech about power or something or other. I don't know. Honestly, I tend to zone out when Zod starts rambling.
Metallo was teleported to the Fortress to stop Bad Clark from spilling everything to Zod, and got frozen via double ice breath. But you can't keep a good half-robot guy down. Metallo broke free, punted Zod and then *BAM!* got the red out like Ben Stein with Dry-Eyes, only he used a chunk of meteor rock to the gut. Clark apologized to Chloe and ... "Whoops, must have slipped my mind," he said (I'm paraphrasing here). "Those Kryptonite deposits you had? Well, they saved the world in the future I went to. Not really that important of a detail I guess." The episode finally ended with a loving conversation between Lois and Metallo, while Zod spilled his own blood to power up his elite.
My problems with tonight's episode are gonna sound like fanboy whining. Metallo knows what the Blur looks like. How long 'til he knows who Clark is? I'm glad that Metallo stayed alive, and we might get to see more Brian Austin Green, but didn't he want to be Green Lantern on this show? I guess a scantily clad man who derives his power from a green rock is good enough.
Why does Zod talk so much, and why does he get turned on every time someone tries to kill him? In the comics, Metallo is a stone cold killer -- one of the most evil of Superman's rogues -- but this Metallo almost seems like a good guy. I wish they would have gone a little more robotic with him. This version just seems like a sweaty Iron man with super strength.
