CBS Fires Back At ABC With Dancing On The Stars Announcement

By Kelly West 2012-06-20 14:51:27 discussion comments
CBS Fires Back At ABC With Dancing On The Stars Announcement image
As you may be aware, CBS has engaged in a bit of a legal altercation with ABC over the similarities of ABC's new reality series The Glass House to CBS' own long-running series Big Brother. Granted, Big Brother is based on a hugely popular international format, but CBS hasn't tried to claim otherwise. While CBS has attempted to stop ABC's The Glass House from airing by legal methods, the Eye has also taken a snarkier approach to addressing the issue, in the form of an "announcement" about a dance series that sounds suspiciously like ABC's Dancing with the Stars.

CBS issued this announcement today, which states that they're developing a series called Dancing on the Stars, an "exciting and completely original reality program that owes its concept and execution to nobody at all." The headline alone was enough to grab my attention. It reads like a real press release, complete with a statement from the vaguely described "CBS spokesperson."
CBS ANNOUNCES DEVELOPMENT OF “DANCING ON THE STARS,” AN EXCITING AND COMPLETELY ORIGINAL REALITY PROGRAM THAT OWES ITS CONCEPT AND EXECUTION TO NOBODY AT ALL

            Los Angeles, June 20, 2012 – Subsequent to recent developments in the creative and legal community, CBS Television today felt it was appropriate to reveal the upcoming launch of an exciting, ground-breaking and completely original new reality program for the CBS Television Network.

The dazzling new show, DANCING ON THE STARS, will be broadcast live from the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, and will feature moderately famous and sort of well-known people you almost recognize competing for big prizes by dancing on the graves of some of Hollywood’s most iconic and well-beloved stars of stage and screen.

The cemetery, the first in Hollywood, was founded in 1899 and now houses the remains of Andrew “Fatty” Arbuckle, producer Cecil B. DeMille, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Paul Muni, Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel, George Harrison of the Beatles and Dee Dee Ramone of the Ramones, among many other great stars of stage, screen and the music business. The company noted that permission to broadcast from the location is pending, and that if efforts in that regard are unsuccessful, approaches will be made to Westwood Village Memorial Park, where equally scintillating luminaries are interred.

“This very creative enterprise will bring a new sense of energy and fun that’s totally unlike anything anywhere else, honest,” said a CBS spokesperson, who also revealed that the Company has been working with a secret team for several months on the creation of the series, which was completely developed by the people at CBS independent of any other programming on the air. “Given the current creative and legal environment in the reality programming business, we’re sure nobody will have any problem with this title or our upcoming half-hour comedy for primetime, POSTMODERN FAMILY.”

“After all,” the spokesperson added, “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” 

The sarcasm's laid on pretty thick, including the assurance that this morbid sounding dance competition series is "totally unlike anything anywhere else, honest." An obvious nod to the similarities in ABC's Glass House, which has people quarantined in a house and competing against one another for a cash prize, much like Big Brother. And it seems like they've also taken a shot at Dancing with the Stars by describing the contestants on their own "planned" show as "moderately famous and sort of well-known people you almost recognize."

And lest there be any confusion over what this "announcement" is all about, the unnamed spokesperson made sure to mention that thing about people living in glass houses. CBS is clearly not holding back on throwing stones.
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