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HBO's Tell Me You Love Me: Sex Sex Sex!

By Steve West: 2007-07-18 23:56:35
HBO's Tell Me You Love Me: Sex Sex Sex! When you hear about HBO’s new show ‘Tell Me You Love’ me it might be a bit disconcerting. To be honest, the premise sounds like a scripted version of ‘Real Sex.’ I only say that because there is sex in the new show. Lots and lots of graphic and “real” sex. It’s a quality that critics have picked up on and are unafraid to ask the actors and creators about. Series creator and executive producer Cynthia Mort appears to be befuddled by the amount of attention the sex is getting. Odd, this is America where 2 seconds of boobage on national television causes a riotous outcry. No one should be surprised that supreme levels of sex would turn heads.

‘Tell Me You Love Me’ tells the personal and sexual lives of four couples. There’s no ‘Sex in the City’ single swinging good times going on. It’s a show about people who are in love and have a relationship. Beyond the sexual content there is something exciting about a show approaching the role of the boudoir in everyday life. The show about couples in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 60s has been dubbed “That HBO Porn Show” by the media. It surprises me that sex is still a majorly controversial subject. Mort seems to be just as surprised as I am.

During the recent TV Press Tour when asked if she was being disingenuous about critical reaction to the sex scenes in her show Mort replied, ”I’m rarely disingenuous…The sex always was there in service of intimacy and in service of love. So that people are pulling it out – I understand, but I am somewhat surprised.” Critics went on to ask hard hitting things like whether the sex was real. Actress Michelle Borth responded, ”We are not porn stars. We’re actors.” Which is a pretty hilarious statement.

Besides the sex questions, what is there to know about ‘Tell Me You Love Me?’ Not all that much, because there continues to be an odd abhorrent reaction to sex in this country. The best we got from the press tour is a question to actor Tim DeKay about his character’s obvious love for his wife, even though he doesn’t want to have sex with her. There you go, a question that addresses the sex issue and still digs deeper into who the character may be. You’d almost think that someone out there wanted to know what emotional and story qualities HBO’s new series may have, rather than being interested in the level of penetration.

Sure, I’m interested to know whether the actors are actually having sex. But only in a “inquiring (perverted) minds want to know” sort of way. The reality is it doesn’t matter. Whether the actors are engaging in dirty sex is irrelevant to the story being told, which is the same either way. To be fair I was not on hand to witness the mood of the panelists as they answered, and maybe their cavalier attitude as they danced away from the questions was out of line. Still, it seems to me that there are more important things to a story than whether the actions on screen are truly real. Jackie Chan did all of his own stunts, and Sylvester Stallone did not. John Rambo was a badass mofo all the same.

‘Tell Me You Love Me’ premieres on HBO this fall. The cast includes Sonya Walger (Penny Widmore in ‘Lost’), Ally Walker (NBC’s ‘Profiler’), and two-time Emmy winner Jane Alexander.


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  • I just finished watching every single episode of this show. :0( I truly enjoyed this show. It was like a 10 week therapy session. My fiance and I watched it together and it really helped us work our the kinks in our relationship. It is a thoughtful and blunt show. Tells it like it is. THe sex is just a part of the show, but a very important part! When you are in a relationship, you have sex!!! it's just the way it is. So in my opinion, leaving this crucial aspect of a relationship out would take away from the message the show is trying to relay. Again, America has an issue with sexual content and labels it "taboo." It's HBO, not PBS!!! Get Over it and watch the show for the story line, don't be blinded by your moral biased BS.
  • I think the show is wonderful. I was a little leary after the pilot episode but, decided to give it another chance. I am glad I did. I tune in to watch it every time their is a new episde. There are numerous occasions while I have watched the show and I really did stop and ask myself how I would feel in that same situation as well as some of the things that happened I kinda knew as I had been through it already myself in my own life at one time or another. I love it! I hope they keep it on. Anyone that doesn't like it? Well, I think they are the ones that probably would benefit from watching it THE MOST!
  • This show is a very great show! And for all you people that are parents, what is your child doing watchin hbo anyway, its an adult program channel...so what kind of parents are you? and for you that think it is gross, get a life, grown the hell up for god sakes, sex is here, its been here and it isnt going anywhere...sorry! so get over it! This is a wonderful show, the characters are great (they need to be a little more direct but thats the mystery in it), and it really makes you think. And if you can watch ROME, you can watch anything. HBO has finally scored a hit, I was starting to wonder what was wrong with them after the sopranos and 6 feet under was done with...People just grow up...you should be more open, that is how you find out things...stop making everything so TABOO, everything always comes out in the open...
  • Well Teri, I must say that the feeling you got, when you saw the elderly couple having oral sex, and your vagina zipped up, I think it was exactly that, that the producers where aiming to do. And Kevin; Woody Allen has been dealing with issues like this for decades, yeah, well, then nothing is new, for all you know, the cavemen where doing plays about this. You can't say that kind of stuff. This is a tv show, it's brutally honest, it's not afraid of sugarcoating the inner workings of relationships, and the sex part. What, you don't think that elderly couples don't have sex ? Or that sometimes, people like a quickie ? If you like watching shows like Desperate Housewives, and fantasize about how picture perfect and romantic everything is, the do so, but life is not like in wisteria lane (or what tha fu*k ever it's name is.), nd one more thing, the problems the people in this show face, are real problems.
  • It is a very realistic show. Kudos to HBO who breaks the ground for some real, thought provoking series. I watched the first episod last night, it is amazing how much life is comprised inside this series. If you have been married you will feel very familiar inside this brillian series.
  • I've been an HBO viewer for many years and I have to say that this can almost even tarnish "Sex in the City" or "Big Love" with the residue of this crap. It almost angered me to see this at 9:00 pm on a school night and I'm not even a parent. The sex scenes were not real, if so, find me one of your female friends that would enjoy 30 seconds of raw, unbridled, nerd sex. Aint happenin...and by the way, therapists never talk that much and a visual of that old lady sucking off her ol man made my vagina zip herself up for life. Thanks for the nightmare. I am still not right, will not be tuning in and will hope HBO will reconsider that the "shock factor" cannot a loyalist make and this too shall pass...we hope. Truly disappointing.
  • For a pilot it probably wasn't all that bad. It has me intregued enough to sit in on a couple of shows. I really want to see how the charicters develop. One issue I see is that the woman's side is well exposed. The men's side there going to have to pay particular attention to, without coming off as completely useless, or not-genuine. The "Sex in The City" monkier without the fun isn't quite fair, but I see the connections.

    America always has had this taboo issue with sex. Get over it.
  • The show dealt with real issues but did not do enough initially to form a connection with the characters. There is nothing wrong with some good steamy sex scenes but this show did not even come close! There was no romance or passion and it was a very poor attempt to be "cutting edge."
    The sex scenes weren't visually appealing either. HBO may have something with this new show, but I think they will need to find more creative ways to make the sex scenes more interesting and bring more depth to the characters.
  • Little substance - obnoxious sex scenes. No romance. Going to the dentist is more enjoyable than this hateful show.
  • I told all of my friends, and family to watch. I turned it on for the first 7 minutes and was ready to vomit. I am an educated, youngish 50 something and I've never seen anything like it in my life.
    How sad that you have put this on television. We don't even know the character's names! What a disappointment.

    I will be cancelling HBO tomorrow.

    GOOD LUCK TO YOU
  • I'm not interested in watching it every again. It was gross
  • This show is not a breakthrough - it's a rehash and not a very good one. All the characters are beautiful (d'uh!), sincere, intelligent, and sophisticated to a fault. What dysfunction exists is only of the gentlest sort and is very shallow. Woody Allen has been dealing with issues like this for decades - and in a much more nuanced and subtle form, minus the silly sex scenes that are there only to titilate and to keep the viewer from turning the channel. Problem is, in a few episodes even that won't be enough.
  • A breakthrough show for its direct honesty and lack of any kind of glossovers. The emotional impact is direct and blunt. Anyone whio has been married for a period of time and who is also a thinking adult will recognize the absolute clinical honesty of the situations. Makes most other TV seem like fairy stories for not very bright people.

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