TV Recap: America’s Next Top Model – Planes, Trains and Slow Automobiles

The top six girls arrive in Amsterdam and are met at the airport by Daphne Deckers, host of Holland’s Next Top Model. With the smell of jet fuel still in their nostrils, the girls are paired up and assigned the challenge of finding their way through the city to their new house. Their first task is to buy a train ticket to Amsterdam Central which Marjorie and Analeigh struggle to do with American currency. The conceit! Where are your euros? Once they arrive in the city, the second task is to find any public phone and dial a given number for further instructions. Samantha and Elina take first place and are directed to the third task: find Dam Centrum. Once there, the teams must find a pay phone to get the house’s address. The fifth and final task is to catch a cab to the provided address. The girls discover that it’s quicker to walk or bike to places in Amsterdam, but they still manage to maneuver the streets very slowly via taxi to their home away from home. Samantha and Elina arrive first and win 25 extra frames each for the next photo shoot. They are followed closely by Marjorie and Analeigh, and Sheen and McKey unwittingly pull up the rear.

Tyra Mail: “People used to come to play, but fashion makes it hot today. Love, Tyra”

The girls head to Amsterdam’s Red Light District, famous for its legalized storefront prostitution. They meet J. Alexander and Carlo Wijnands, co-founder of Red Light Fashion Amsterdam, an art and fashion project designed to turn some of the skanky downtown brothels into fashion showrooms. The girls are paired up again and assigned different designers to work with to create living fashion displays. McKey and Samantha model clothing by designer Edwin Oudshoorn whose style concept is a fashion doll house. The girls work extremely well together, and Sam is especially talented at portraying a life-sized figurine. In Jan Taminiau’s studio, Analeigh and Elina are stuffed into billowy Romantic gowns that for some strange reason can be converted into jackets. Elina immediately rocks the look, but Analeigh gets distracted by her enormous platform shoes and becomes entangled in set decorations. Bas Koster’s aesthetic leans toward the more edgy and ugly side of fashion. It works perfectly for Marjorie’s awkward angles and bowed spine, but Sheena’s just too pretty with her posing.

At the end of the challenge, RLFA’s Mariette Hoitink joins the group to announce the prize: an invitation to walk in several shows during Amsterdam’s International Fashion Week! And the winners are…McKey and Sam!

Back at the house, Elina fails to win any new friends by arguing with Sam over how acceptable the Dutch hooker lifestyle is. Not exactly a topic worth fighting for, but apparently Lina has a back-up plan if she doesn’t make it to the final runway show.

Tyra Mail: “I know you have just arrived, but your voyage to become America’s Next Top Model continues tomorrow. Love, Tyra”

The first photo shoot in Amsterdam (shot by Andy Tan) takes place on a sailing vessel and features the girls in mid-century dress with a modern twist.

McKey
McKey is determined to get a winning photo and it shows. Jay Manuel is impressed with how editorial she looks and claims that this is the most excited he’s gotten on a shoot because of her creativity. The judges agree that she seems to have broken out of her shell. Tyra loves her mile-high legs. And when she comes to panel dressed in a medieval dungeon get-up that turns Nigel Barker on (Nige, I like chains too, baby…), he wonders why we haven’t seen this side of her before.

Samantha
Jay calls her “the girl you love but not necessarily the girl you love to shoot.” But Sam does a great job of looking more editorial than she has in the past and her shot comes out fantastic. Tyra hates her outfit at panel – she looks like a summer intern at some small-town bank. My God! Even Miss J resorts to removing his pants to improve her dress! Sam, why would you let him do that?

Sheena
Sheen continuously struggles to exorcise her hoochie demons but is yet again unsuccessful. She tries kicking up her leg to create interesting shapes with her body but ends up looking like a French cancan dancer. I sorta like it, anyway. When she straddles a wooden beam, it just goes way too far for Jay. But I don’t see why everyone’s given her such a hard time all cycle long. Yeah, she’s done some questionable things – freaky dances, bumping and grinding, twisting herself into a pretzel – but she’s not all that bad. Right? Tyra and Paulina Porizkova like her pretty face in the photo, but there’s no life. Nigel thinks she looks weak holding the rope like a simple prop instead of embodying her character and taking control of the scene around her.

Elina
Elina gets so intense during her shoot that she doesn’t hear a word of advice that Jay offers on set. Guest judge Daphne Decker is scared by her hard face and Paulina hates her claw-like hands. Nigel thinks it’s the most high-fashion shot she’s ever taken – which isn’t saying much. Tyra points out that all her film was much too stiff.

Analeigh
Ana’s athleticism is used to full advantage on set. She comes up with some amazing poses that make Jay scream, “Hallelujah!” Paulina and Miss J love her body shape and the wind in her hair and dress.

Marjorie
Jay admires Marj for taking constructive criticism on set and using it effectively to improve her performance without collapsing into an emotional wreck. Nigel likes the passion in the shot but doesn’t like the placement of one of her hands – looks like a tumor growing out of her hunchback. Daphne is surprised that this timid girl before them can be so powerful in front of the lens.

McKey is declared the winner and her photo will be displayed as digital art in the Amsterdam Top Model house for a week. Bottom two: Elina, for failing to loosen up, and Sheena, for playing a little too loose. Noooooooo! My Hand of Death strikes again – why do I compliment the models I want to see win? It’s back to Harlem World for Sheena, but she’s sure it won’t be the last we hear of her. I know it won’t.

Next Week: I jumped the gun last week – the real Dutch go sees are coming up!