TV Recap: America’s Next Top Model – The Final Five

With my girl Sheena sent packing last week, I’m not liking Elina too much. Actually, I’m not too impressed with any of the “top” five. The only one I’m not surprised to see here is Marjorie, but she still feels least likely to succeed. She’s finally on foreign soil (and Europe, no less), but continuing to whine about the strangeness of American self-confidence. No more excuses! Please! She kicks ass at almost every photo shoot, but still doesn’t get what everyone else sees. Samantha, on the other hand, is thrilled to be in Amsterdam and still in the competition; she plans to take the city and the show by storm. Analeigh is a mix between the two – she’s aware that the other girls don’t see her as real competition, but she’s intent on proving them wrong and winning.

Tyra Mail (I mean, Post): “You have to be more than good looking, if you want that first booking... Love, Tyra”

The next day, the girls meet at Touché Models where managing director Frederick Koster and his colleague, Pearl Macnack, provide them with their portfolios and instructions for go sees. They will be traveling the city’s canals to visit five top Dutch designers who will evaluate them in four categories:
(1) portfolio
(2) runway walk
(3) general appearance
(4) personality


The model who impresses the clients the most and books the most jobs will win the challenge. And like always, the girls have a time limit; if they don’t return to Touché before 5:00 p.m., they will be disqualified.

The girls struggle in and out of little boats searching for their potential employers. Marjorie wastes more than an hour freaking out and getting completely lost like her soul sister Heather of Cycle 9; by the time she finally gets to Marlies Dekker’s studio, she can’t hide her nerves and fails to impress. Honey, chillax! It’s only fashion! Samantha is enthusiastic and likable on her go sees, but too commercial for most of the designers (no one’s saying it, but I think “commercial” is just code for “too fat for high fashion”). Elina jogs briskly to her first go see; despite the time crunch, this turns out to be an awful idea because she gets all moist and funky before meeting Mart Visser. Mart doesn’t appreciate getting sweat stains on his nice garments, so he decides not to book her. Elina’s tattoos also prove to be a problem for other designers. McKey is a star who books all four of the go sees she manages to attend. However, all points off for plain stupidity; she finds time on her hands, so she lounges on the water touring the city…and ends up being five minutes late back to Touché. With McKey essentially disqualifying herself, she leaves the door wide open for Analeigh who isn’t all that fabulous but does book three jobs to win the challenge. She walks away with a prize pack of items contributed by the designers worth $18,000!

Tyra Post: “You have never been exposed like this before, but you’ll be amazed after. Love, Tyra”

The girls think they’re going nude, but it turns out to be a “before and after” photo shoot challenge with and without makeup, costumes, and styled hair photographed by the one, the only Tyra Banks.

Samantha
Samantha poses like she’s in a Calvin Klein ad in her “before” shot – really relaxed and boyish. Nigel Barker calls it his favorite pic of her to-date. In her “after” photo, she puts her natural theatrics and exuberance to good use. Guest judge Jay Manuel tells her at panel that her performance excited Tyra, a reaction all models need to be cognizant of and striving for when working with any photographer.

Marjorie
Too, too nervous! Mr. Jay thinks she psychs herself out too easily (obviously). Her “before” test shot is the best they can coax out of her at the time, which is pretty sad considering she looks sick and homeless (hmmm, looks like a Calvin Klein ad…). But for the “after” shoot, she’s on fire! Tyra defines her character on film as “cunning,” “sharp” and “strong,” much more intriguing than the weak-willed pathétique before them at judging.

Analeigh
After completing her “before” shoot, Tyra calls Analeigh “not a washed-face girl; she needs makeup.” Wow, that’s cold. Paulina Porizkova agrees that there’s something wrong with her face – big eyes, bad nose – but Nigel comes to Ana’s rescue. She does a much more awesome job with the “after” picture; J. Alexander wants to pack up her sexy legs in a gift box and take them for himself.

Elina
The broken record just keeps on skipping: Let go! Let loose! Relax! Every time Tyra finds her in a natural pose, Elina tenses up. Even with all the hair and makeup of the “after” shoot, she has the fierceness and excitement of a Sunday School teacher. She shows up to panel, according to Tyra, “looking like a bad version of Angelina Jolie in Mr. & Mrs. Smith", but Miss J. manages to fix her a bit. The judges are sick of her repressed youth (Mr. Jay shocks us all by reminding us that she’s only 18!); they force her to act out, but even her primordial scream is tight and controlled.

McKey
Tyra loves her! McKey uses her trademark “punched in the face” pose well in both her shots and impresses all the judges.

Samantha gets called first and her “before” photo will be displayed as digital art in the Top Model Amsterdam house. Bottom two: Marjorie, for allowing her feelings of inadequacy to get the best of her, and Elina, for the perpetual stick up where the sun don’t reach. Marj dodges a bullet and Elina is sent packing.

Next Week: Party over here! The remaining four girls get intimate on and off the set.