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TV Recap: American Idol – San Diego – You Stay Classy, Ryan Seacrest

By Jon Costantino: 2008-01-22 22:54:16
TV Recap: American Idol – San Diego – You Stay Classy, Ryan Seacrest I prefer American Idol when it is only one hour long. As opposed to the two-hour marathons that were broadcast last week, the show now focuses more on what it’s supposed to do: Find people to continue in the competition. Certainly, there were still a lot of talentless freaks featured, the spotlight is off of them for a while.

This was the case tonight in San Diego, home of the recently defeated Chargers and news anchor legend Ron Burgundy. The first two people on tonight’s episode made it to the Hollywood round, but I predict two different fates for the contestants featured. The first contestant was Tetiana, whose voice was a little shaky at first, but she almost has the Idol look. You hate when someone just misses being a sure-fire contestant, and Tetiana definitely falls short in many aspects that the judges look for in a potential winner. I see her being eliminated once the groups start up. Another contestant, Perry, is a single dad with an adorable son, and has both a great story and a decent voice. And who can say no to the father of a cute kid? Perry does lose point for having a stereotypical poster of Al Pacino as Scarcafe in his apartment.

Michael John was next and he comes from to his audition from Los Angeles, but is originally from Australia. He has a amazing voice and looks like a dude from The Hills. If you think Idol has an immigration problem now, just wait until a guy from the Outback makes it into the Top 12, like I imagine Michael will - every good looking Aussie with a decent voice will be coming to America. They’ll have to move the border fence to the California coastline.

I did like Valeria Reyes, even though she stunk. She said she worshipped Mariah Carey, but ended up singing like Mary Carey. It’s not hard to see why she likes Mimi: Valeria seemed to have Mariah’s giant head, wide smile, and ample, uh, lungs. She also thought that vocal gymnastics was the ticket to the next round. It might have gotten Mariah a marriage to Tommy Mottola and a million-dollar record deal, but trills aren’t going to cut it before the judges.

If you had to list three people you wanted to meet, would Barack Obama, Oprah, and Simon Cowell be on the list? Well, when Samantha came into the room, she brought her sister, who then rattled off that list as her Top 3. For her flattery, Simon let her sit on his lap. Samantha was pretty amazing, and I can see her making the top 12 Girls, maybe more since she’s so pretty. But my favorite part was when the judges asked Samantha’s sister for her opinion and it was harsher than anything Paula, Randy, and Simon said. Sure, the sisters are tight, but I’m sure the lament of “It’s always Samantha, Samantha, Samantha!!” rings through their home on the holidays.

Two losers were next, but one guy you really wanted to root for. This was Blake’s TENTH audition, which is weird since the show has only been on seven seasons. He’s best known for the guy who sang “New York, New York” while dressed like the Statue of Liberty. He’s best known for that because it’s one of the shortest auditions in history, and they played footage from it over and over during that year’s World Series. His voice has improved, but ten’s apparently not a charm. But he says he’ll be back next year, showing that as long as American Idol barrels through the country, suckers will come out of the woodwork to greet them.

The second loser was Alberto. I think Alberto arrived in San Diego not by plane, train or automobile, but via time machine. He looked like he came from directly from Woodstock, and complete will long hair and bare feet. He sang like he was in a houseful of sleeping children. And he made the cardinal Idol mistake by bringing an original song. He was also worth mentioning because he has uneven, overgrown fingernails. Maybe he should meet the guy who kept his clipped nails in a Ziplock bag and do a duet.

The last two contestants of the night both made it and will make for interesting watching. David has a paralyzed vocal cord and it was obvious that Simon and Randy thought this little tidbit was a prelude to disaster. But David can sing, but he seemed a little winded, even though he sang the wimpy John Mayer song “Waiting For The World To Change.” He’s Super-young (16), so he might not have the stuff to stick around long, but he could be back in a few years and really be a contented for the Idol

Carly made it through for the second time as it was explained, since she actually made it to Hollywood two years ago, but a lack of visa prevented her from competing. She has a decent voice, however she lacks some serious confidence. I hope she does well so she’ll become famous and trade-in her freaky boyfriend. Her beau not only owns a tattoo parlor, but has covered his entire face with tattoos. Carly mentioned that he was concerned about appearing on camera because of the face tats. Dude, next time, go with your gut instincts and stay home, you’re scaring America’s Youth. Seriously.

Well, American Idol returns tomorrow with a visit to South Carolina, where another national contest was being waged this week: The Presidential Primaries. But Idol has one thing the race for The White House doesn’t have: At least you don’t have to leave the house to vote for your Idol.

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