TV Recap: HIMYM - As Fast As She Can

Thank you, thank you, thank you. That’s what I want to say after this week’s How I Met Your Mother because it is most definitely not Stella. Plus, Lily came back. All I can say is…yay!

When Ted ran into Stella on the street, she wasn’t alone. She was with Tony, her ex and current guy. Ted didn’t break down or anything, though. He played it completely cool, having a nice little chat with the two of them. When he told Marshall, Robin, and Barney, they agreed that he did the right thing. He didn’t break down into tears and he didn’t shove some new version of Stella down their throat as his girlfriend. At least he thought he played it cool.

It was quite surprising when later that day there was a knock on the door and it was Tony. You thought I was going to say Stella, didn’t you? Yup, Tony was standing there looking, what’s the word, desperate. At first, Ted thought he was going to say that seeing him on the street caused a rift between the two of them. No such luck. Instead, he said how awful Ted looked and he wants to make up for causing him any pain. I know. Weird. He offers Ted a professorship at Columbia (turns out Tony is from lots of money), which Ted turns down. Seriously. Marshall, Robin, and Barney thought he was nuts for that one, too.

Ted thought it was the end of things until Tony showed up on at his door again. This time, he said his friend wanted to build a house and he needed an architect. Ted refused at first but then saw the big, fat Tony was waving. He took the dinner with Tony and the guy where everything was going great at first. Then the guy started describing each room he wanted in his house. The main room he was concerned with was the laundry room. He had a specific size and it had to include stain resistant tiles on all the walls, floors, and ceiling. He also needed three large hooks hanging from the ceiling. You know, to hang his bags of laundry. Finally, he needed it to be soundproofed. Oh yeah, he was building a murder house. Of course Ted turned that nonsense down.

He met up with Tony at the bar and Tony apologized for the whole murder house thing. He was willing to do anything to make it up to Ted, who kept insisting it wasn’t necessary. He only finally got through to him by saying that he was fine. Stella had lied to him and left him at the altar. He doesn’t want the kind of person that would do that. Tony left and this time he didn’t come back. Instead, Stella did.

She shows up whining that Tony broke up with her because of something Ted said. Seriously? Who cares, Stella. You left Ted at the alter! Whatever. That’s exactly what Ted says when Stella asks him to talk to Tony. Nope, not kidding. He tells her no but then in the middle of their fight, he gets a call from Barney. He’s locked up in a jail in New Jersey for getting 15 moving violations in three days. See, Barney got a ticket and then Marshall and Robin started telling stories about how they’ve talked their way out of tickets. Well, you know how competitive Barney is. He started deliberately getting pulled over to prove he was a better manipulator than anyone else. Guess he isn’t because he never got off. So Ted asks Stella for a ride to New Jersey.

Somewhere along the way, he decides that he will talk to Tony for Stella. And finally, finally, he verbalizes what he hasn’t said all season to Stella. He wants what Tony and Stella have. They know they’re with the one person who is meant for them, just like Marshall and Lily. Ted’s been waiting this whole time and nothing. He just wants that person to feel whole. Lots of sap but, come on, poor Ted. He’s even willing to get his ex back together with her new guy because of that love, he has to find it soon, right? Stella does the best thing she's done since she met Ted and tells him she's getting to him as fast as she can.

Seriously, though. If you think about it, the kids are around 15 in the year 2030. That means he has about six years before they’re born. He should know the mom before that right? I know, it’s Ted and he can fall in love in a day. As the Peanuts parent say, “Wah, wah.”