TV Recap: HIMYM - The Stinson's

Let’s all do a dance this Monday night to praise and thank the TV gods because finally, finally, a new episode of How I Met Your Mother came to brighten our weeks. And it wasn’t just any old episode. It was Barney-tastic. We even learned another dating rule thanks to Stinson: Don’t give a woman flowers because it’s a living thing and it will make her think of babies. Yes, it’s time to bow down and enjoy all the Doogie Howser musical interludes we’re given.

It all starts with a lot of strange behavior on Barney’s part. First, he turns down a couple drunken blonde girls at the bar. Then Marshall tells the gang that he overheard a conversation between Barney and a mystery person on the phone which concluded with an “I love you.” Then, there was the whole Ted saw him buy a dozen roses. See the aforementioned rule. Yup, strange all right. The gang assumes Barney has a girlfriend and when he leaves, they do the only thing they can. Naturally, they follow him.

Barney walks straight in the house and Lily, being ever so curious and ever so hidden, rings the doorbell. That’s right. There’s no sneaking around for these friends. Barney lets them in to see his secret life, which is when everyone meets his…mom. She’s not at all like you pictured. In fact, she looks to be the perfect mother/grandmother/hostess. Oh yeah, a blonde and a kid come bouncing down the stairs. The blonde is Barney’s wife and the kid is his kid, Tyler. I know it all sounds crazy and believe me, it is crazy.

About seven years ago or so, Barney’s mom was really sick. So sick they thought she was about to pass away and Barney didn’t want her to go thinking he wasn’t happy. All she ever wanted for him was to meet the right girl and settle down with her. Basically, she wanted him to have the life she never did. Not that she disliked or regrets her younger life. Actually, she reminisces in great detail with Marshall and Lily about how she used to be a “whore.” But she didn’t want that life for Barney and, being the good and devoted son that he is, hired an actress to play his fiancé. Then his mom recovered. It was a miracle, for sure, but it also meant Barney had to keep up his fake marriage and the pregnancy the actress improvised on the spot, which brings us to the current situation.

The gang agrees to go along with the charade and Ted even hits it off with the actress, who gives him some pointers on acting. The kid and Robin have an understanding in terms of taking jobs that don’t thrill them and Lily and Marshall learn some lessons of their own (mainly that Lily and her mother-in-law hate each other but should value one another for Marshall’s sake). Everything’s going according to plan until Mommy Stinson walks into the kitchen to get the sundae bar ready and finds Ted and Barney’s fake wife in a full on make-out session.

Everyone stands in awe as Ted tries to climb his way out by making up some ridiculous story about how Barney stole his fiancé in 1998 and he never recovered. It worked well enough but now what was going to happen. If Barney divorced his wife, that would kill his mom. At least he thinks it would. Thanks to the gang’s egging, Barney decides it would be better to just come clean. Though he does toy with the idea of letting his mom think that Tyler is dying and because of this, the wife kills herself. But no, he finally comes clean and admits the whole seven year sham. And you know what? His mom is relieved. Turns out she hated the wife and the kid. Now she won’t have to feel like the mean grandmother who doesn’t love her grandchild. See how much the truth helps. Of course, she does also tell Barney not to let real love fade away. Cue to Robin, who, I swear, better find out about Barney’s whole being in love with her thing by the end of the season or I’ll, well, I’ll do something.

Oh, and yes, Ted went home with Barney’s pretend wife. Also, Lily totally faked a perfectly pleasant phone call with Marshall’s mom so all is good with them. At least it is until Marshall goes home and his mom still says Lily is going to burn in hell. I just don’t get why Lily doesn’t love her? I say screw to mothers-in-law, and anyone really, who doesn’t love my Monday night gang. They’re perfect and they should know I’m going to start protesting every week they’re not on….just a friendly warning from me to you.