TV Recap: The Hills – Playing Ketchup

Awkward confrontations on The Hills are usually more about what doesn’t happen than what does happen, but Lauren and Jason’s run-in with the enemies at newly opened L.A. Hotspot Ketchup (okay, so when the product placement plays as much of a role as Ketchup did in the Lauren-Heidi showdown, it carries through to the recap) was all about the action, even if Heidi and Spencer were the only ones who actually did something. For Lauren and Jason, though, it was more about inaction (as is normally the case for Lauren). The coincidence of having the two feuding protagonists (I refuse to consider Heidi an antagonist) of a sort-of-real reality show spontaneously meet at a restaurant aside, the Lauren-Heidi encounter was a chilling glimpse into the destructive power of BFF-ships gone wrong, like a vaguely scripted, well-scored scene of real-life (ahem, not like they’re the same things, right?).

Spencer rudely, though it was clearly meant to be ironic (Did Lauren and Jason not realize that? When Lauren was recounting the encounter to Whitney, she seemed to think Spencer was being literal), told Lauren and Jason that he was glad they’d gotten back together, and Speidi, who had decided to go out for dinner to celebrate Heidi’s promotion, proceeded to have drinks sent over to the unwelcoming Lauren and Jason (they even sent water for just-out-of-rehab Wahler) who sent their drinks back, before leaving the restaurant altogether. Okay, so Lauren and Jason may have left the restaurant without even ordering their meal, but they still probably didn’t break the record for eating the smallest amount of food at a Hills meal (I mean, surely these girls know how to eat less than nothing).

Heidi was convincing when she told Spencer that Lauren was acting illogically by forgiving her abusive ex-boyfriend, but not forgiving the ex-BFF who was there for her while she was in the relationship. Lauren’s post-Ketchup chat with Whitney (who, by the way, finally got somewhat of a storyline with her search for the location of Teen Vogue’s Young Hollywood party, though it never really amounted to anything except more Lauren coaching) revealed the enlightening fact that Jason distrusted Heidi as a loyal BFF to Lauren while they were going out. It may have been hypocritical of Lauren to glorify Jason, but it was refreshing to see her tell Whitney, when describing Audrina’s romantically successful vacation with J-B, that she’d never again intrude in a friend’s love life.

Elodie used to be as good at Heidi coaching as Whitney is at Lauren coaching, but Heidi’s metamorphosis into a ladder-climbing workaholic (minus the hard work) brought out some warranted anger in the former coach. Heidi, who now has an intern working for her (she asked the intern to program her new cell phone, which serves as an appropriate metaphor for the heartless, corporate re-programming in her life), told Elodie about the Ketchup run-in, and Elodie snapped, suggesting that Heidi may have deserved the shunning from Lauren. When Spencer later asked Heidi if she regretted going for the promotion, Heidi couldn’t have looked more regretful. Well, I suppose she could’ve if she did something that made her lose all her friends, gaining only the love of a gremlin in the process, but, I mean, that’s just speculation.