TV Recap: Las Vegas – A Hero Ain’t Nothing But a Sandwich

I’m giddy over the arrival of Tom Selleck as the new owner of the Montecito Resort & Casino. It’s been far too long since the Handsome One has had a TV show. In fact, this is his first contract series since Magnum, P.I., and he earned an Emmy for that. So there.

Quick Recap: Last season ended with pregnant Delinda in a suite on the 37th floor with one of Danny’s war buddies. He’s mad about being shipped out to Iraq, and he’s got a bomb. Meanwhile, Mary, Danny and Ed are across town in a parking lot. One of them has just shot Mary’s loser dad, who molested her as a child. Deserved it, I say.

Sam is now the owner of the Montecito, ever since her hubby, Casey, was eaten by a giant squid. You can’t make this stuff up. Ok, maybe you can. Anyway, Sam’s in danger of losing the place unless she can scrape together $241 million for back taxes. But she’s got bigger worries at the moment.

Psycho Vince Peterson has kidnapped her, stuffed her in a trunk and loaded her on a plane, which is now flying across the U.S. He lets her out of the trunk, but wants her to join his personal Mile High Club Hell. Chained to the wall of the plane, quick-thinking Sam pulls the emergency exit, sending Vince skydiving without a ‘chute. Go, Sam!

Back at the hotel, Danny is frantically searching for Delinda after a giant explosion on the 37 th floor. He’s overjoyed to find her in a laundry bin – alive. Perfect time to tell him she’s pregnant with their baby. They talk marriage. And, oh yeah, armed robbers are creating havoc elsewhere in the hotel. Keep up!

Danny gets thrown in the slammer for killing Mary’s dad. “Yeah, that’s it,” the cop says, doing his best Bogart. “You’ve been planning this for a long time. You’re the shooter, and Mary drove off with the murder weapon.”

Danny gets out, but Bogie-Cop lurks around the casino. He finally pins the murder on Ed. Has a witness and everything – a hooker who was dancing the horizontal mambo with her john in a car. She shows up at the Montecito with a deal for Ed. “I saw the shooter in a black BMW, and he looked just like you,” she says. “$100 grand or I sing like a bird.” Alright then, says Ed, walking away.

Mike’s still working on the crime scene, which is now entering “grassy knoll” territory. There’s evidence of a third shooter, and sure enough, it’s Ed. Mike and Danny view the surveillance tape and – oops! – looks like we lost some of that footage.

Meanwhile, Ed figures out who the robber was – a longtime employee who’s sick of seeing everyone else win big. It’s his turn now. Ed works him over – he loves working people over – and puts a gun to his head, just in time for Danny to appear and stop him. “I don’t want my kid visiting his grandpa in jail.” Then Danny breaks the news: the cops have a witness (the hooker) and a warrant for Ed’s arrest.

The cops show up. Ed disappears. But not before giving a knowing wave to the surveillance camera. Back in the surveillance office, another file is deleted. Good thing Danny has access to those tapes.

Sam is annoyed that everyone keeps asking if she’s ok. Says she’s fine, but I dunno…would YOU be fine if you’d been kidnapped, bound, gagged, and stuffed in a trunk? I doubt it’d be business as usual. And it isn’t. She keeps seeing Vince’s creepy ghost everywhere she turns. Sam has some serious post-traumatic stress going on, and sees a therapist at Delinda’s request.

Cut to Wyoming: a lone cowboy is riding a horse across an open prairie. OMG, it’s Tom Selleck, aka A.J. Cooper, the new owner of the Montecito. Turns out he paid the back taxes. He’s Quigley, only cleaned up and a lot richer.

Cooper – yep, just “Cooper” – owns the largest working cattle ranch in Wyoming. Formerly married, but no divorce papers on file anywhere. No children. Net worth: $2 billion. He shows up at the casino driving a truck and decked out in a denim shirt and cowboy boots.

Coop’s new marketing campaign: Anything Can Happen. “Let’s have some fun!” he says, and proceeds to give away $1,000 to everyone on the floor, plus a few brand new trucks. Country music band Montgomery Gentry plays a set. Everyone’s happy!

Well, everyone except the staff, that is. They’re worried about getting fired. And Cooper plays his cards pretty close to the vest.

Let the games begin.