TV Recap: Project Runway - Nature Calls

Tuning in for another Project Runway recap from Kona? Sorry. She’s off curing cancer and winning beauty pageants at the same time; so, you’re stuck with me. Yeah, life’s hard out there for a pimp.

Previously: Korto won last week‘s challenge, while poor Suede got the heave-ho, depriving the world of more awkward first-person/ third-person mid-sentence flip-flops and gaudy Mohawks. For shame.

For those of you not glued to your televisions all season, this episode is the final pre-New York Fashion Week brouhaha. The four remaining designers (Korto, Kenley, Jerell, and Leanne) are competing for three spots in the finals. The tension is just pulsating. I bet someone’s going to cry in the next hour. I hope it’s Kenley, but it’ll probably be Jerell. Or Ricky from last season, if the last challenge happens to be about hats and against all odds, he’s brought in as a guest judge.

Host and asexual badass Tim Gunn appears and announces the remaining designers are heading on a field trip. All involved (including cameramen) head to the New York Botanical Gardens for a little meet-and-greet with Collier Strong (the L’Oreal Makeup guy who pops up a few times a season), and it’s another take-a-picture for inspiration challenge. This nonsense is their go to move, but somehow, I still find the entire process fresh--or at least watchable. Each contestant is given thirty minutes to hone in on a particular picture and then are handed two hundred and fifty bucks to powwow at Mood.

Runway:

Everyone hates Kenley! Jesus Christ. The judges ask the designers to give an impassioned speech on why they should make the finals and who should come with, but it pretty much turns into a platform for everyone to punish Kenley. And there’s the tears--from Kenley and Jerell. Boo-hoo.

In melodramatic fashion, Heidi announces this has been the toughest challenge to judge in the show’s history. This is probably a good time to tell you everyone’s effort here was mediocre at best. I guess it’s a little like judging rhythmic gymantics at the Special Olympics. Too far? Jerell threw together a multi-colored purple wrap with under layers of red and green. Leanne showed an elegant but relatively boring blue evening dress. Kenley chose a tight purple ensemble complete with a belt and mermaid-like designs on the bottom, which John Waters’ Divine would have worn the shit out of. And, finally, Korto got her orange on with, well, a dress I’d describe as citrusy.

And the results are in: everyone stays. They’re all going to go home and make collections for New York Fashion Week. How passive aggressive. Everyone leaves the stage and Tim encourages Kenley to cheer up (she’s still crying), but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

Tune in again next week for Kona’s triumphant return and something about designers doing something-er-other.

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