TV Recap: True Blood - New World In My View

Am I alone in being overjoyed that Sookie, Bill, Eric and Jason have left Texas? Nothing against the Lone Star state but in True Blood-world, Texas is where everything is pretty and shiny and all of the people look like they fell out of a soap opera. Given tonight’s episode, Texas was a stark contrast to the state of Bon Temps.

I have to give it up to the writers before we get into this recap. Tonight’s episode had some of the best random lines of the series. Like Arlene screaming at Terry, “Bottom shelf! Bottom shelf!” when he was shooting his gun at the liquor. Andy stating “We need to kill that bitch,” when discussing Maryann. Or Sam’s simple “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” in response to Andy’s story about Annie the nanny. But I think Lafayette wins the day with his remark after quoting scripture, much to Tara’s mother’s surprise. He followed this by say, “Jesus and I agreed to see other people, now that don’t mean we don’t still talk from time to time.” I adore Lafayette. Runner up goes to Sam for ordering fake-God Jason to “Smite me, motherf—ker!”

Tonight’s episode opens with Sookie dreaming about consoling Eric with tender kisses and the start of some sweet, slow vampire sex but she wakes up before they get to the good part. She, Jason and Bill return home to Bon Temps to find the place in disarray, complete with penis-doodle on the “Welcome to Bon Temps” sign. Everyone with the exception of Sam, Lafayette, Tara’s mother and Andy are in full-on black-eyed mode and running around town half naked and crazed.

They go back to Bill’s place to find Hoyt and Jessica trying to keep Hoyt’s crazy mother at bay. The woman just can’t get enough Wii or of Jason, whom she comes on to when she sees him. Later on Hoyt’s mother’s madness causes Jessica to freak out and attack her. There’s a lesson to be learned here: When a new vampire is hungry and horny, don’t piss her off.

Jason, fresh from his heroism in Texas is all about getting his town back in order and sets off to make it happen. Meanwhile, Sookie and Bill return to Sookie’s house to find Maryann’s disgusting, spiny, meat-sculpture outside. Maryann tells Sookie that it’s her house now. We all know Sookie doesn’t appreciate being told that what’s hers is someone else’s and she gets in Maryann’s face. Bill tries to protect Sookie but when he bites Maryann, her blood is poisonous to him and he starts vomiting and gagging. Sookie gets him out of there but not before using a shiny bright light that comes from her hand as she holds Maryann back. Yeah, apparently she has some kind of crazy magic defense weapon inside of her that can hurt Maryann.

Meanwhile, Sam is rehashing what’s going on in Bon Temps with Andy, who was too drunk the night before to retain whatever information Sam gave him then. Sam says there’s no way to kill Maryann and they’re still trying to figure out what to do when Arlene calls him and tells him she needs his help. Sam knows she’s one of Maryann’s black-eyed peas but Arlene’s tearful pleas win him over and he goes to Merlotte’s only to be ambushed. Who didn’t see that coming?

Andy gets in there and the two of them hide in the walk-in refrigerator while the loonies outside start dancing, drinking, having sex and licking food off of each other. Now, I have to give it up to the writers again. They could’ve found a way to get Jason some guns or something to use as weapons but as he’s a blue-collared boy through and through, it was only fitting that he come to Merlotte’s armed with a chainsaw and a nail gun. He uses the chainsaw to get everyone’s attention and to break the stereo, after which, he holds the nail gun to Arlene’s head.

Terry, who’s talking like he’s back in Nam throughout all of this, sees his lady in trouble and in a moment of almost-clarity, listens to Jason when he threatens to “nail” Arlene if they don’t all leave. He herds the troops out the door and Jason goes back to get Andy and Sam out of the fridge. Naturally, the crazies return moments later and Sam decides since they’re cornered that he’s just going to end it and go with them.

Not to be defeated, when the crazies have Sam strapped down and ready for the god that’s supposed to arrive to come and eat him, Jason and Andy make their next stand. Using road flairs and a welding mask, Jason arrives and declares himself the god. Awed by his cheesy display of pyrotechnics and his rippling abs (maybe that was just me), the crazies all stop and listen to Jason but only after Andy provides him with “horns” using branches because after all, if he’s the god, he should have horns. Sam sees that he has a way out and goes to offer himself up to god-Jason. He tells him to smite him and has to repeat it because Jason can’t hear him through the welding mask. Finally, Jason catches on and promptly smites Sam. Sam turns himself into a fly and everyone is appeased. They leave on god-Jason’s orders and Sam comes out of Merlottes wearing nothing but an apron and starts extinguishing the flares.

While all of this is going on, Sookie and Bill go to find Tara. She’s at Lafayettes where he and her mother are trying to get through to her. All she does is chant, though. When Sookie tries to see her thoughts, she can’t get through the “abyss.” It takes Bill glamouring her, Lafayette’s encouragement and Sookie trying to break into Tara’s mind to finally get through to her. Not only does Sookie see everything Tara’s been up to but somehow their attempt to get into her mind pulls Tara out of the hypnosis. She’s very ashamed for what she’s done but they’re all so happy to have her back that they hug her. There’s even a tearful reunion between Tara and her mother. When Tara says she wants to go back and get Eggs, that’s where they draw the line though.

The episode ends with Bill going to see the Queen and finding her presumably dead. Either that or she was just bleeding. All we saw was a foot and part of her leg, which was dripping with blood. As for the other randomness in the episode, Bill now knows that Eric has Lafayette selling V. Not sure how that will come into play but we all know there has to be a reason for why Eric put Lafayette up to it and I’m guessing that’s coming up. In the meantime, this was a strangely hilarious episode, in a dark sort of way. Less on the Bill/Sookie romance and more on the madness of a town possessed.

Below are a few more lines from the episode that I found amusing:

“There’s those fuckin eyes again,” Jason, having seen enough of the black eyes to be seriously pissed off.

“Nail ‘er!” – woman in the bar in response to Jason putting the nail gun to Arlene’s head.

“I need a haircut anyway baby,” Arlene, ensuring Terry that it’s ok if Jason puts a nail through her skull.

“As for you, Jason Stackhouse? Not cool.” – Terry.

“If ever there was a time to listen to a white man, Tara, this would be it,” – Lafayette.