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The Amazing Race 13: Team Details And Predictions
By Matt Norris: 2008-09-26 20:26:52
The Amazing Race returns September 28th and what better to put off working on my thesis than to write my preview article. Seriously, people. Why would I want to read nine volumes of Samuel Pepys when I can give you some biographical information about the teams that will try to finally prove that Phil Koegen is actually a living being? The only person who has less personality on CBS is Julie Chen and she sleeps with CBS president Leslie Moonves. I don't even want to know what poor Phil has to do for Mr. Moonves. Eh, better not think about such things. Besides introducing you to each team, I’ll give you my completely ignorant prediction of which teams will go home first. Do not be surprised when none of my predictions are even remotely correct. I surely don’t care enough to go scouring the internet for TAR spoilers. Biggest Loser spoilers…maybe. On to the bios because, frankly, I need to get this Master’s degree finished sometime this decade.
Terence and Sarah 
He’s a running coach. She’s an investment analyst. Terence and Sarah are newly dating which in Amazing Race terminology could mean they met at the airport on the way to CBS headquarters. While the show claims they have been dating almost a year, I stand by my initial statement. Their personalities seem to be polar opposites which I’m sure will lead to a lot of bitching and moaning. Hopefully they’ll be able to control their tempers and make a strong run for the title but I have a feeling CBS wouldn’t have chosen them if they could. My prediction: 9th team eliminated Marisa and Brooke 
Stereotyping is wrong. See, I can look at Marisa and Brooke and look past their fake blonde hair and love of the color pink. Actually, no I can’t. They look like bitchy Barbie dolls. Their cookie cutter looks are not why I hate them. I choose to look deeper for the source of my vitriol. When I read that these Southern Belles’ strategy to win is based on flirting I wanted to drown them in Herbal Essence products. Either that or pray that they get lost somewhere truly horrific…like downtown Detroit. My prediction: 1st team eliminated. Andrew and Dan 
CBS calls Andrew and Dan the Frat Boys but they must have been members of Alpha Dorka Beta. Yes, yes, I came up with that all myself. While the nerds might be ruling Hollywood, I just don’t see these Superbad wannabes making it far on the race. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if they are the first team eliminated. Yet, I’m going to have faith that Dan’s degree in tourism and Andrew’s degree in great hair will at least keep them around longer than the Barbies. My prediction: 3rd team eliminated Aja and Ty 
As with 90 percent of reality show contestants, Aja wants to be an actress. Apparently she wants that more than she wants to be with her man, Ty. He lives in Beirut, I mean Detroit while she’s in California. Just like most couples, they face problems due to the long distance relationship. Do they decide to move closer to each other? Oh no…they decide to go on a reality show! Sigh. Where’s Doctor Phil? My prediction: 10th team eliminated Mark and Bill 
When I think of people who would do great on a reality show, I think of athletes, military personnel, etc. I do NOT think of a person who works for Comic Con or a financial aid guy. What do I know though? I’m a stinking recapper. Mark and Bill have goatees and goatees go a long way. I have no idea what that means but I have a word count here people! Good friends do make good teams though so expect these nerds to make it further than you think. I can see them going home anywhere from first to 8th. Damn goatees are hard to handicap. My prediction: 6th team eliminated. Toni and Dallas 
Toni is Dallas’s mom and rumors have it that she still packs his lunches in his Mega Man lunch box. This rumor isn’t true, people. Rumors can hurt so remember when you steal my article and run it on your crappy blog. Anyways, this mother and son team has a chance to really make it far. Or they can totally make me look like an idiot and lose the first week. Hell, I’m not afraid of looking like an idiot again. I think the single mom and her son will make it at least near the end. My prediction: 8th team eliminated. Kelly and Christy 
These two divorcees are lookin’ good but I’m not sure they have a legitimate shot of winning it all. Maybe they will surprise me. I wouldn’t really be too upset if I had to look at Kelly and Christy for a few extra weeks but looking good has never led somebody to victory. Please don’t send hate mail Chip and Reichen fans. My doubts about this team come from the bio when it mentions they are former cheerleaders and dancers. Spirit fingers might get you through a lonely night in the sorority house but it won’t lead you to the million dollars I have three daughters so as long as they aren’t too annoying and obnoxious, I’ll cheer for them to become the first all woman’s team ever to win The Amazing Race. My prediction: 7th team eliminated. Anthony and Stephanie 
I hope Dr. Phil stuck around after trying to figure out Aja and Ty. Anthony and Stephanie broke up for a year and Anthony says he’ll propose to Stephanie if they make it through the race. I guess for their personal sake I hope they make it and have a happy life together. The cynic in me sees this relationship deteriorating quicker than John Edward’s Presidential aspiriations. Surprisingly, I’m not saving my cynicism for this stupid Presidential debate tonight.. My prediction: The winners
Anita and Arthur 
Alice and Arthur are married beekeepers who look like some acid tripped version of Mr. and Mrs. Claus. They work hard and seem to really love each other. I bet they are awesome people who will be a refreshing addition to the show . I am hoping against hope that they aren’t the first team eliminated although I wouldn’t be surprised. They raise damn bees for God’s sake. How the hell is that going to help them? I don’t care, I am rooting for them regardless. So as long as the race is over by December 24th, I will be cheering for the Kringles to win the whole damn thing. My prediction: 4th team eliminated. Ken and Tina 
Dr. Phil is going to make a fortune on this show. A former NFL player and his estranged wife think they can save their marriage by doing this show together. Okay go back and read the previous sentence once more. I’m pretty sure that injecting maximum amounts of stress won’t do this relationship any good. I have already decided I hate this team and that I’m sure they’ll be going home early. Besides, he played for the old St. Louis Cardinals. He’s used to losing. My prediction: 2nd team eliminated. The 13th season of The Amazing race will begin September 28 at 8:00 EDT and these eleven teams will have to travel over 30,000 miles in 23 days if they hope to win the grand prize of $1 million dollars.
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