The Emmy Nominations: Wild Opinions You Can Pass Off As Your Own

Nominations for the sixty-first annual Emmy Awards came out today, and if you’re like most people, you’ve only watched Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol, The Amazing Race and heard from friends of friends about how awesome Mad Men is. Luckily, we here at the TV Blend do nothing but Tivo twenty shows a day and consume Bunch-A-Crunch; so, we can bring you a full rundown on all the categories which matter (sorry sound editing), providing an easy-to-follow cliff notes version from which you can steal unconventional and amusing opinions to impress that girl with sweet legs who works three cubicles down. Ready? Then like Ricky Ricardo after walking in on her wife and Ethel getting down to some wacky antics, we’re off to rant…

Outstanding Drama Series
Big Love
Breaking Bad
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men

Nothing will ever top the first season of Dexter. It played out like a complicated novel, using its throwaway scenes not only for laughs but also to push the narrative arc forward, crescendoing in a season finale for the ages, and while Season Three may not have upped its predecessors, it’s still every bit worthy of the nomination. Also nice to see Big Love get some support from the voters. The premise makes it sound like a campy joke--a big business owner buys three adjoining houses, one for each wife amidst prejudice in Sandy, Utah--but it’s really a well-written drama with some suburb acting from Bill Paxton and that kid who was in Santa’s Slay With Bill Goldburg. Still, all will bow to Mad Men on Emmy night.

Outstanding Comedy Series
Family Guy
30 Rock
Entourage
Flight Of The Conchords
How I Met Your Mother
The Office

I perhaps like The Office better than any show on this list, but it is a scientific fact the last season suffered a measured drop in both humor and the aww shucks Jim and Pam are cute together x-factor. 30 Rock, on the other NBC Page, is getting better and better---like Secretariat at the ‘73 Belmont or box wine as you get more intoxicated.

Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series
Late Show With David Letterman
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
The Daily Show
The Colbert Report

Colbert had a great year going to Iraq and producing several notable specials, but Saturday Night Live is once again on the upswing, as is David Letterman and The Daily Show. I watch Letterman every night and would love to see him grab another Emmy, but it’s really anyone’s guess as to who might win here. Some thought Jay Leno might get some love for his last season as Tonight Show host, but this isn’t the Make A Wish Foundation.

Outstanding Reality Competition
American Idol
Top Chef
The Amazing Race
Project Runway
Dancing With The Stars

My heart says Top Chef, but it’s really hard to top The Amazing Race. That show is so intricate and well put together. Really great stuff for a network reality show. Plus, its scope is so much larger than a Dancing With The Stars or Project Runway.

Outstanding Non Fiction Series
American Experience
American Masters
No Reservations
Biography
The Deadliest Catch
This American Life

Notable for more than just three nominees who have American in their names, none of which should win, Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations is one of the best shows on television. The celebrated chef criss-crosses the globe, getting hammered, putting himself into food comas and experiencing the nightlife of many of the world’s most exciting cities. Go set your Tivo now.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series
Tracy Morgan in 30 Rock
Jack McBrayer in 30 Rock
Kevin Dillon in Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother
Rainn Wilson in The Office
Jon Cryer in 2 ½ Men

A three man race, at least in my eyes. Tracy Morgan is a joy to watch on 30 Rock. Neil Patrick Harris is literally awesome in everything, including his recent cameo on Top Chef: Masters and Rainn Wilson’s Dwight Schrute is still the best part of The Office. I’ll throw my hat into Dwight’s beet farm, but the fact one of his opponents is hosting the Emmy’s probably doesn’t help his cause.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series
Jane Krakowski in 30 Rock
Kristin Chenowith in Pushing Daisies
Amy Poehler in Saturday Night Live
Kristen Wiig in Saturday Night Live
Vanessa Williams in Ugly Betty
Elizabeth Perkins in Weeds

I’m going to be so pissed if Jane Krakowski wins. She is so unquestionably the worst part of 30 Rock, I have no idea how she cajoled the committee into luck boxing her way into a nomination. In a perfect world, Elizabeth Perkins would win nearly every voter here with her cancer-striken Celia Hoades, but there’s a lot of dumb mouth breathers out there. An Amy Poehler win for her last season on SNL would also be acceptable.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series
William Shatner in Boston Legal
Christian Clemenson in Boston Legal
Aaron Paul in Breaking Bad
William Hurt in Damages
Michael Emerson in Lost
John Slattery in Mad Men

Take note of emerging young actor Aaron Paul. He has a recurring role on Big Love as Sara’s boyfriend Scott, was wonderful in the remake of Last House On The Left and now has scored an Emmy nomination for his contribution to Breaking Bad. He’ll probably lose out to William Shatner, especially since viewers will never see Denny Crane again, but he’s a name to know.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
Cherry Jones in 24
Rose Byrne in Damages
Sandra Oh in Grey’s Anatomy
Chandra Wilson in Grey’s Anatomy
Dianne Wiest in In Treatment
Hope Davis in In Treatment

Cherry Jones is notable here for her role as Madam President, but she’s simply outclasses amongst the likes of Dianne Weist, Hope Davis and Chandra Wilson. I love Dr. Miranda Bailey on Grey’s Anatomy and even though the overall quality has plummeted the last few years, Chandra Wilson’s character still makes the show worth watching. I really hope she wins.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock
Jermaine Clement in Flight Of The Conchords
Tony Shalhoub in Monk
Jim Parsons in The Big Bang Theory
Steve Carell in The Office
Charlie Sheen in 2 ½ Men

How has Alec Baldwin not been announced as the winner already? His Jack Donaghy is every bit as wonderful a character as George Costanza. And George yeah, I’ll eat food out of the garbage Costanza is the greatest slow-witted, stocky bald man in the history of television. Jack Donaghy quote of the day: The Italians have a saying, Lemon: 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' And, although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series
Bryan Cranston in Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall in Dexter
Hugh Laurie In House
Gabriel Byrne in In Treatment
Jon Hamm in Mad Men
Simon Baker in The Mentalist

A little bit surprised here to see Simon Baker sneak in, Michael C Hall is my sentimental choice, mostly because he’s been at the top of his pay television game since Six Feet Under debuted like ten years ago. Gabriel Byrne is fantastic in In Treatment, but honestly, who watches that show? I’ve seen like three episodes and I feel this is more than ninety-eight percent of America. Hugh Laurie was splendid again last year as Dr. House, and watching Bryan Cranston cook meth is just a good time for all involved. That’s why Jon Hamm will win.

Outstanding Actress In A Comedy Series
Tina Fey in 30 Rock
Christina Applegate in Samantha Who
Julia Louis-Dreyfus in The New Adventures Of Old Christine
Sarah Silverman in The Sarah Silverman Program
Toni Collette in The United States Of Tara
Mary-Louise Parker in Weeds

Time for some brutal honesty. The lead actress in a comedy series is always the weakest category at the Emmy’s. There’s just never many female-fronted comedy shows to choose from, and the ones which do mostly play like participation ribbons at the 3rd Grade Spelling Bee. Tina Fey should clean up again, though if Weeds ever returns to form, Mary-Louise Parker will steal some votes.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series
Sally Field in Brothers & Sisters
Glenn Close in Damages
Mariska Hargitay in Law & Order: SVU
Elizabeth Moss in Mad Men
Holly Hunter in Saving Grace
Kyra Sedgwick In The Closer

Lot of great women in this category. Sally Field has been particularly good on Brothers & Sisters and Mariska Hargitay’s Detective Olivia Benson is a perennial favorite; so, we may actually see someone from cable sneak in here. Glenn Close obviously has the name recognition, but voters love TNT’s Saving Grace and The Closer; so, I’ll say Kyra Sedgwick wins the gift certificate, if only because she got fucked by Bernie Madoff.

Outstanding Host For A Reality Show
Ryan Seacrest for American Idol
Tom Bergeron for Dancing With The Stars
Padma Lakshimi and Tom Collichio for Top Chef
Heidi Klum for Project Runway
Jeff Probst for Survivor
Phil Keoghan for The Amazing Race

You really have to separate the host from the show here. Top Chef is a pan sear better than any of its competitors, but little of that success is due to Padma and the best way to describe Tom’s hosting abilities is hyper-knowledgeable. Look for Phil Keoghan to take it home for his Amazing Race duties--or maybe even Ryan Seacrest, as he is legitimately great at his job. The fact his job is pretending to be excited in between campy jokes is largely irrelevant.

Outstanding Animated Program
American Dad
The Simpsons
South Park
Robot Chicken

American Dad, while way better than most people give it credit for, still has no place in this category. It’s like going to a fancy restaurant and choosing between the medium rare filet, the poached salmon, the slow-roasted lamb shank and cheese fries. The right answer is probably South Park but Robot Chicken has been gaining steam over the last year or so with both critics and fans. Like Saturday Night Live in its early days, Robot Chicken, when at its best, is an idea machine--turning out dozens of humorous parodies in the shotgun method employed by Airplane! and In Living Color. They don’t all work, but for a clever viewer, the thought should be just as important as the shininess.

Outstanding Casting For A Comedy Series
The United States Of Tara
Californication
30 Rock
The Office
Weeds

With all due respect to Little Miss Sunshine’s Toni Collette, who is a wonderful actress, The United States Of Tara sucks. It’s a bad program with annoying characters unable to get any forward momentum due to the asinine multiple-personality structure it created for itself. It doesn’t belong on television, let alone in contention for artistic acclaim. Fuck that show. As for who actually deserves to win, The Office probably has done the best casting job, hiring seasoned, culturally unknown improvisation actors, but don‘t rule out Showtime‘s Californication. Pamela Adlon is hilariously loveable as Marcy Runkle and the reintroduction of Paula Marshall as Sonja, the girlfriend of obnoxious self-help quack Julian and mother to Hank’s non black baby, was truly a masterstroke during the second season.

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series
Steve Martin in 30 Rock
Jon Hamm in 30 Rock
Alan Alda in 30 Rock
Beau Bridges in Desperate Housewives
Justin Timberlake in Saturday Night Live

Justin Timberlake is a fucking god. It’s not even fair. He can sing, he can dance, he’s arguably a better golfer than I am. Saturday Night Live is the perfect medium to harness all of those talents (maybe not golf), but I still think he loses out here to Alan Alda as Jack’s kidney-seeking father. Steve Martin was probably funnier during his run on 30 Rock, but his storyline was less interesting and people seem to love rooting for Alan Alda.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series
Jennifer Aniston in 30 Rock
Elaine Stritch in 30 Rock
Gene Rowlands in Monk
Betty White in My Name Is Earl
Tina Fey in Saturday Night Live
Christine Baranski in The Big Bang Theory

I love Screwed’s Elaine Stritch as Jack’s conniving mother who thinks all men with beards are rapists, but Tina Fey as Sarah Palin is arguably unbeatable here. She can see Alaska from her house, use a lifeline and practice a few zingers for Joe Biden. If I had a vote, this is probably the one I would feel most sound about.

Outstanding Commercial
Airport Language for American Express
Alec In Huluwood for Hulu
Bottled Courage for Nike
Circus for Anheuser Busch
Heist for Coca Cola
Magazine Buyer for Anheuser Busch
Tips for Career Builder
Wedding for Sprint Nextel