The world of television is ever changing. Mostly having to do with reality stars and their “will they, won’t they” contract signing drama. But there’s a lot going on each week in TV, and not all of it’s good. We’ve decided that you, dear reader, deserve to have the most interesting of tales told laid out for you in a neat organized list form. Welcome to This Week In Television, where you see what’s worth your time over the past seven days.
You thought I’d crawled into my hole, never to return. I’m sure you did. But no, after a long hiatus that was taken up mostly by being in foreign lands we return you to your regularly scheduled TWIT. What better week for a return than the blunt force trauma that are the Upfronts? You may be wondering what the heck an “Upfront” is and the answer is deceptively simple: it’s when the networks are “up front” with everyone on how crappy most of their new shows are probably going to be. I’d enjoy bantering with you some more, but we’ve got a hell of a list to cover this week.
Mia Michaels will judge how people dance, dance, dance…the whole night through
Jack Bauer says everyone else has run out of time
So You Think You Can Dance established Mary Murphy as a permanent judge because fans were at one point charmed by her kooky antics. But then shit got real and Murphy went from kooky to toys in the antic, and now we have Mia Michaels to bring sanity back to the judges panel. Incredulous as I am about Mia bringing sanity with her, I do appreciate that the woman knows her dancing. Jack Bauer has lost his mind, and it’s been replaced by supreme awesome.
You go to Hell! You go to Hell, and you cook me dinner!.
As a professional chef I find Hell’s Kitchen one of the most entertaining food shows on television. On one hand I like that the producers and Ramsey are giving an opportunity to some people who don’t have the skills or talent to pull off the prized job. Then there’s the fun aspect of watching people mess up some of the most basic kitchen skills. With a variety of culinary questionable and undoubtedly egotistical executive chefs season seven should be more of the same.
Paula Abdul drops dead from diva
It doesn’t matter who goes, because Crystal has already won.
I’m not concerned with whether or not Paula Abdul is going to be on television again. What I’m concerned with is that Lifetime is making original programming that doesn’t star Meredith Baxter Birney. American Idol doesn’t just suck, it’s simply boring. Crystal isn’t even a contestant on the show. She’s beyond what the other two finalists could even dream of offering.
Awww Sookey Sookey now
I don’t know why the Losties have died, but what’s dead really on this show?
Give me Buffy vamps above anything else going on today, especially the travesty that is the Twilight saga. But if we have to keep one of these silly modern undead tales let it be True Blood in all its delicious titillation and earnest commands from Bill. I just wanted to mention we only have one more episode of Lost left, then we’re into the series finale. The episode is titled “What They Died For” and that means we’ll find out everything we wanted to know except a clear cut answer on what they all died for.
Whedon and Harris unite once again
Joss Whedon and Neil Patrick Harris came together and their joining produced Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog, and it was good. Now the two have penetrated their way onto Glee and will no doubt deliver oozing amounts of crazy goodness. I’m sure Whedon fans will be upset with the no vampire slaying or quippy space cowboys, but I like when the man takes on someone else’s baby and makes it his own. Whedon doing The Office was fantastic because he understood the show and didn’t twist it to his own predilections.
Colin Hanks has Bosom Buddies
I don’t know if The Good Guys is going to be decent. What I do know is I enjoy watching as the young Hanks takes a step back to maybe follow a little closer in his father’s footsteps.
Heroes is out and Chuck is still in. NBC has good decisions in them!
NBC has announced their entire fall primetime lineup, and things are looking pretty good. Not great by any means, but they still have Chuck. Parenthood is continuing on, despite some people I know being wrong in not liking this charming show. But what the hell is Community doing not getting one of two prime 9-10 slots on Thursday night? That show is leagues better than The Office or 30 Rock.
That’s it for This Week In Television, May 10th through the 16th. Come back next Monday to catch up on all of the extras we stashed in our closets to keep our klepto friends from making off with the goods.