Tonight’s episode of True Blood delivered what was probably the biggest “WTF” moment of the series to date. Seriously, what transpired tonight in the final moments of the episode was bizarre, twisted and just plain nasty… and maybe not in a good way, either.

Before we get to that, though, a note to Sookie: Get yourself a boyfriend that isn’t so easily manipulated by his maker. Lorena’s fine by the way. Just a few burns that were healed long before the disturbing episode conclusion. It’s the Celtic tapestry that’s a bit worse for wear thanks to Bill chucking fire at Lorena but she’s fine and back to twisting Bill around her finger, without even really meaning to this time around. Sure, her plan to have Sookie killed while they made Bill watch may not have gone as she wanted but in the end, she did have a part in Bill’s decision to take the king up on his deal.

We thought Hoyt was the character with momma-issues but Bill’s relationship with Lorena takes the cake. Not only is the woman capable of manipulating him via flashback but he’s also got some angry, sexual fixation with her that makes me think Sookie might be better off ditching him and making off with Eric or the delicious werewolf Alcide (played by Joe Manganiello). Seriously: Yum. We’ll get to him in a little bit, though.

Back to Bill, maybe his back’s against the wall. He’s being held against his will and there are werewolves after his fiancé. Perhaps he thinks he’s doing the noble thing by consenting to be the King’s new puppet but given the flashback sequence that revealed Bill’s parting words with his wife back when he was first turned, it seems more likely that he’s under the impression that the old rules still apply.

“We can never love humans without bringing suffering upon them.” is the lesson Bill learned after spending three minutes with his wife Caroline and having her freak out when she saw that he was a vampire. Maybe Bill wouldn’t have been able to reason with her. Maybe after losing her son, letting her daughter go and essentially losing her husband, Caroline was a lost cause. It was a different time, though. Now-a-days, vampires are totally mainstream! What’s got Bill so convinced that Lorena’s right in thinking the two worlds can’t mix? The two worlds are mixing. Sookie’s an open-minded person and despite the drama Bill’s brought on her life, she seems to be happy with him, regardless of whether or not he’s a vampire. I guess a couple of days away from her and a few trips down Memory Lane was all it took to get him to revisit Lorena’s baseless way of thinking.

Maybe Bill knows deep down that Lorena’s just a jealous woman looking to keep what she wants close by. I might’ve been able to look beyond his confusion as to how to do the right thing by Sookie but the final moments of the show, which consisted of the angriest kind of angry sex I’ve ever seen on TV caused me to think that this guy could be beyond redemption. Not only did he cheat on Sookie but he did so with Lorena, whilst twisting her head around so it faced the other way. The act wasn’t even enough to cause him to stop what he was doing. It wasn’t until after Lorena said she still loved him while her head was twisted around that he freaked out.

Speaking of sex, Tara had her first experience with vampire power-sex tonight as the new vamp in town, whose name we learned is Franklin, brought her back to his motel room after he helped her beat up the rednecks. Following the romp, which ended with Tara leaving feeling dirty (despite having enjoyed it), she attended Eggs’ funeral. Sookie was the only other person who showed up and as she was the one who paid for the funeral, that seemed fitting. I guess looking into Eggs’ funeral arrangements to at least find out when they were taking place wasn’t on Tara’s agenda as she had to be invited to the event by the minister (or whoever it was that was conducting the ceremony).

Tara returned to stay at Sookie’s house and was visited by Franklin. Here’s the thing I don’t get about this “must be invited in” rule. If vampires can’t come in without an invitation but they can glamour people, what’s the point of that rule, really? Only people smart enough to shut the door when they see who’s on the porch (and people like Sookie who are glamour-proof) are really safe. The rest, like Tara (who really should be smarter than that) are as vulnerable as they would be on the other side of the front door. Once again, Tara may have let a predator into Sookie’s house. Sookie really needs to stop being such a good friend and re-inviting Tara to stay with her.

It was confirmed that Franklin was the one who moved Jessica’s trucker’s body. He used the information about the trucker (whose body he dumped in a ditch and was later found by Hoyt) to get Jessica to tell him all about Bill. It still seems unclear as to why he wants to know about Bill but the last we saw of Franklin, he was glamouring his way into Sookie’s house.

Speaking of Sookie, Eric stopped the bullet meant for the werewolf that attacked her. He wanted answers before the guy died. There was one brief, horrifying moment when the werewolf, turned back into human form, buried his face in Eric’s bullet wound to get himself some fresh V. In the end, Eric killed the thing but only after he saw the mark on its neck and Sookie heard the word “Jackson” in his head.

While Eric set off for Mississippi, he sent a werewolf named Alcide to watch Sookie. Apparently Eric’s one of those hot guys who only has hot friends. Alcide has a sort of beardy, flannelly lumberjack thing going on. He was on board to help Sookie find Bill and took her to a werewolf bar that did nothing to disguise what it was. Giant moons and pictures of wolves graced the walls and the place was full of big, beefy biker-type guys, including at least one of the guys that kidnapped Bill. Sookie sniffed the man out and read his thoughts but when he tried to rape her, Alcide intervened. That’s when we got some tidbits about the Alcide’s ex having an engagement party. I assume that’ll be relevant to next week’s episode. Other bits of information revealed tonight:

Sam’s relationship with his family got more strained tonight as he found out his father’s kind of a drunk. He’s back at Merlotte’s though, so that’s something.

Jason wants to be a cop. The only problem is, he keeps seeing bullet-wounds on people’s foreheads… and he’s kind of stupid but after Bud quit, Andy could be on his way up, which might leave a spot open for Jason.

That’s right, Bud quit. He “dunneed this horseshit!” After forty-something years of murders springing up like crab grass, he’s had enough and is throwing in the towel, and his badge.

Arlene’s got her “a baby comin’,” which wasn’t news but the fact that her baby is nine weeks along means it’s probably not Terry’s. I’m fuzzy on the timeline here but I’m guessing its Rene’s baby, which is just awkward. It’s been made more awkward as she didn’t tell Terry this bit of news when she announced that she was pregnant. So he thinks he’s becoming a daddy. Side-note, does Arlene’s hair seem redder than usual? And I need to give her costume people props for putting her in a pink bra under her skin-tight white t-shirt and the awesomely ‘80’s jaw clip she had in her hair.

Eric gave Lafayette his sports car and a little pep-talk on getting himself more invested in the V-selling business. Lafayette seems reluctant but the conversation between him and Eric seemed relevant enough to make me think we’re going to see less of Lafayette working with Jason and Hoyt and more of him peddling drugs in the future.

And finally, Pam got some. We got a brief and audibly detailed scene involving her and a sexy woman at Fangtasia.

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