Veep Season Finale: The 30 Wittiest And Filthiest Lines

By Nick Venable 2014-06-09 05:11:39 discussion comments
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Tonight, Veep ended its absolutely top-notch third season with a double episode extravaganza that dared to potentially redefine everything we have come to know about this show. For tonight, Vice President Selina Meyers (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) actually became the President of the United States…sort of. And we’re celebrating the nation's first FPOTUS by bringing you the 30 funniest and Veepiest lines from tonight’s episodes. They don’t call it a political party for nothing, right?

To quickly summarize, the President resigned from office to take care of his suicidal wife – a situation that earned little if any respect from Selina and her crew – and this ensemble squad of misfits is now on their way to the Oval Office proper. Does that mean Veep will have to change its name when it comes back to HBO for its fourth season? Probably not, as Selina will presumably still be on the campaign trail to get herself voted into office, but it would be just like this series to change its name mid-run. But enough about the future; let’s laugh about the very recent past.

”veep
Crate (Episode 09)
1. “Nothing says regular American like standing on a street corner shouting at strangers.” – Dan

2. “It’s like a chicken came in your mouth…I think eggs are my favorite breakfast.” – Jonah

3. “She thinks it looks folksy, but she really looks like Dustin Hoffman on a crate.” – Mike

4. “Oh, my God. I cannot stand that affected butt plug. If I could life the fucking crate, I’d beat him to death with it.” – Selina

5. "I don’t have any friends in D.C., Mom. They all call me a dick behind my back. But like, right behind my back, so I can hear them.” – Jonah

6. “Siri, why does God allow suffering?” – Mike

7. “I was just admiring your charging portal. It’s so clean. Do you swab it?” – Mike

8. “You know what V.P. stands for? Victory Permafucked.” – Selina

9. “When I get excited, my nose bleeds! When I get excited, my nose bleeds!” – Gary

10. “Someone has just flown two planes into my career.” – Jonah


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