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The Decade: TV's Most Lovable Dorks
Some dorks just jump off the screen. Some are a little more subtle. Shows like Freaks and Geeks and Big Bang Theory have entire casts of dweebish goobers. Others, (The Office) have guys like Andy Bernard who just sort of sneak up on us. This decade has proven dorks come in all shapes, sizes, social groups and professions. Below is the list of some of the most lovable dorks from the past decade.
Marshall Flinkman (Alias) The techie dork – No other character of this decade tugged at dorky heartstrings quite like Marshall Flinkman. A genius among geniuses; his technical contributions to the team of Sydney Bristow, SD-6, CIA (whatever the hell group they were with at the time) were the thing of legends. He was James Bond’s Q, if Q were the kind of guy who attended ComicCon.
Been known to say: “It's a digital camera. I have it at 42 exposures, but I wanna get it to 47 because... it's a prime number.”
Johnny Drama (Entourage) The famous dork – A quasi-washed up actor riding the coattails of his larger than life younger brother. With roles only a member of the SAG could appreciate (Melrose Place, Viking Quest, after school specials) Johnny Drama epitomizes the guy who is often the unwitting butt of his own jokes.
Been known to say: One day you're lighting up in front of a dozen adults at a Bat Mitzvah, the next your cruisin' down Santa Monica Boulevard offering handjobs for a crack rock.
Hugo “Hurley” Reyes (Lost) The chubby dork – He’s a 300+ pound lottery winner with the worst luck of any human in history. His geeky sensibility and calm (or search for food) in the face of the craziest of circumstances are part of what makes this dork so damn lovable. He wanted to rewrite “Empire Strikes Back” with a couple of improvements including eliminating the Ewoks. A good dork always comes to the aid of George Lucas.
Been known to say: “So... Rose's husband is white. Didn't see that one comin’.”
George Michael Bluth (Arrested Development) The wimpy dork – He once wore black leather pants because he thought it would impress his crush (his first cousin). He wore a fake muscle suit costume under his clothes in order to appear more buff. His proudest moment was becoming manager of the family’s frozen banana stand. And he dated a girl his father lovingly referred to as “Egg” and “Plant.” Need anything else?
Been known to say: “Yeah, I'm gonna need a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and need to go into a controlled slide.”
Paulie “Paulie Walnuts” Gualtieri (The Sopranos) The violent dork - The matching wingtip hairdo and shoes are probably enough on their own to put his mobster on the list. Even the mafia needs the unintentionally funny and dimwitted. Paulie offered both. He somehow was loyal to a fault yet foolishly defiant. Oh, and he almost died chasing a Russian "Interior Decorator" through the Pinelands of New Jersey.
Been known to say: “The Boss of this Family told you you were going to be Santa Claus. You're Santa Claus, so shut up about it!”
Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report) The political dork – He cheers for himself before interviews. He wears a "Wrist Strong" bracelet. He vehemently (and sarcastically) supports the Right with such biting intelligence he's tough to argue with. Christ, he even ran for President. He is a four-eyed genius that uses his dorkiness to influence political thought. A thinking man’s dork.
Been known to say: “I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?”
Hiro Nakamura (Heroes) The romantic dork - a guy whose name is Hiro who wants to be a hero and is on a show called “Heroes.” That probably sums it up best. Hiro is that lovable loser, so romantic in his quest to prove the savior that he often bungles up his own attempts. That he can manipulate time makes it all the better. What dork wouldn’t want the chance to go back, beat the villain, get the girl and save the day? He’s a dork other dorks aspire to be.
Been known to say: “Every town and city around the world has a place where the wise men gather. The Greek oracle of Delphi. The Library at Alexandria. The Hall of Justice.”
Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm) The neurotic dork – He wears Dockers and sneakers, is bald with clown hair, argues with strangers, and just happens to have created Seinfeld and is richer than god. Larry David is the prime example of when a dork has too much time on his hands and money in his pocket. He differs from the stereo-typical dork in his apparent lack of any hobbies or interests (except of course, for being neurotic).
Been known to say: “Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a tire?”
Dwight Shrute (The Office) The relentless dork – He owns a beet farm, loves Battlestar Galactica, opts for the Sipowitz look on the job, was once a volunteer Sheriff’s deputy, was his sensei’s pet at the local dojo, performed his own circumcision, resorbed his twin brother in his mother’s womb, and worships his (possibly even more dorky) boss. Dwight doesn’t apologize for his dorkiness, he embraces it.
Been known to say: “First rule in roadside beet sales, put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go “wow, I need this beet right now”. Those are the money beets.”
Jonathan “J.D.” Dorian (Scrubs) The ultimate dork - A guy lost in his own thoughts. He's the dorkiest of all the dorks. J.D.'s "fantasies" are things of legend. Whether it’s an office made entirely of chocolate, his coworkers acting out “99 Luftballoons,” or his head floating free so he could be in two places at once, JD embodies everything that makes a dork.
Been known to say: “I'm hiding. I really don't want to be bald. I have a sneaking suspicion it won't work for me, I think it might accentuate my spoon-chest.”
Honorable Mentions from the rest of the CB staff go to: Betty Suarez (Ugly Betty), Fred Burkle (Angel), Chuck Bartowski (Chuck), Vincent Masuka (Dexter) and Howard Wolowitz (The Big Bang Theory)
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