True Blood Watch: Season 5, Episode 3 - Whatever I Am, You Made Me

By True Blood standards, last week's episode was a bit on the draggy side, but tonight's episode picked things up. It was a bit light on action, but what it lacked in gritty violence, it made up for with some truly great lines, a few steamy moments and the introduction of Tina Majorino's character.

As a Veronica Mars fan, I want to say off the bat that I wholly approve of Majorino (also of Big Love, Napoleon Dynamite) being the "Mac" of the vampire world, as that's what it looks like she's set up to be. Based on what we saw of her character tonight, she's adorably tech-savvy with vamp-speed as a bonus. I really hope we get to see more of her this season! (And hopefully it doesn't involve her firing up that stake-harness app.)

"I've dedicated my guardianship to the fight for coexistence and I will not see it go swirling down the shitter because of one ancient, pissed-off psychopath. Do you understand what I am saying?"
I'm really starting to love Christopher Meloni. I've never been a regular Law & Order viewer, so this is really my first experience watching the actor, but wow, he sure can talk. The above line was one of the first that grabbed my attention during tonight's episode, and half of is was his flawless delivery. He's just the right amount of intimidating and articulate.

Since we're already on the subject, Bill and Eric are still with the Authority and now strapped into harnesses that could be triggered to stake them at any time. This, while the Authority decides how to deal with them and the Russell situation. Much of their arc had to do with Bill and Eric's interactions with the sexy Salome, who's apparently based on a biblical character, and known for being sexy, and for her "Dance of the Seven Veils," not to mention possibly ordering John the Baptist's head on a platter. Some of that may have been exaggerated. Regardless, she's Roman's girl now, and her interrogations of Bill and Eric involved sex with both of them. (I'm assuming she had sex with Eric. We didn't actually see it, but she was naked on her bed, so… probably?) This strategy, mingled with a lot of talk, was as effective as silver in getting information out of the two men. At least, she seems to think the two guys are on the up-and-up and could prove to be useful to their cause.

Things aren't going so well for Nora, who, after being interrogated with silver, finally admitted to being a part of the Sanquinista. Does that make her a Sanguinista? A Sanguinist? I'm still working on the terminology here. What we do know is that she believes in Lilith and thinks mainstreaming is an abomination. We also know that Salome knows of Nora's connection with Eric. That came up during Salome's pre-sex conversation with Eric.

In other Authority news, we now know how Newlin knew about Bill not being King anymore (he mentioned this to Jessica during last week's episode) and who he's working with. As irony would have it, he's the new Nan Flanagan, having been recruited by the Authority thanks to his connections with the Fellowship of the Sun. After all that bickering between Nan and Newlin in the past, I'm thinking Nan would be rolling over in her pile of goo if she knew who had replaced her as the spokesperson for the Authority.

Before we move on to other matters, does anyone else ever wonder if the kid vampire has trouble being taken seriously? I wonder if the other vampires ever scruff up his hair and tell him he's cute when he's trying to flex his authority. Then again, his position at the Authority table suggests otherwise, but I would so love it if Bill and/or Eric found an opportunity to talk down to him.

"Fuck Tara and fuck you."
Sookie gets points for using her ball of light to attack Pam for being mean. Usually she reserves her magic power for life-or-death situations, but it's nice to see she's willing to break out the big guns when someone powerful gets in her face. In this case, it was Pam's refusal to help lasso Tara. In the end, it was Sam who helped her, but only after she nearly devoured a stranded motorist.

Tara's as miserable as a vampire as she was as a human most of the time (there were a few smiling moments in her history, if I recall). She spent the bulk of the episode fighting off her vampire urges. She's angry at what's become of her and last we saw of her, she was trying to fry herself in a tanning bed. Something tells me Pam will speed to the rescue, especially after the flashbacks tonight.

We saw the rest of Pam's "being made" story. Not only did Pam witness Eric and Bill's first encounter with one another (Bill was a new vampire at the time and still being "trained" by Lorena), but she also proved to be fairly unaffected by learning that vampires existed. Interestingly enough, it wasn't really Eric's choice to turn her. He wasn't interested in becoming a maker, admitting that the responsibility was too great and not something any decent vampire would make light of. So Pam took matters into her own hands, or wrists rather. She slit her wrists, and Eric presumably turned her after that. I'm assuming that's the end of the story, though perhaps we'll see more. Pam as a new vampire, maybe?

I'm thinking next week's episode will begin with Pam rushing to pull Tara out of the tanning bed. I'm not sure how her own back-story ties into Tara's. It seems like Pam was desperate to become a vampire to escape the fate that awaited her in her human life, while Tara is clearly not embracing life among the undead. Maybe there is some way they can connect, though. Or maybe Tara will really curl up and fry herself into a second grave. We'll have to wait and see.

In other news
After Alcide found out that Tara was turned, Sookie admitted to him that she killed Debbie. The sheriff's department and Debbie's parents are out looking for her, so it seemed like the conversation would come up sooner or later. But how will Alcide react? Will he be blamed for it, since he admitted to Debbie's parents that he dumped Debbie when she started using V and sleeping with Marcus? I can't imagine he'll turn Sookie in, though. It's not like he didn't know what Debbie was capable of, and factoring in what happened to Tara, he might be willing to see it as an unfortunate accident. That's what it is, but it's also a very unresolved issues, obviously.

Terry took off to do something with Patrick. Fed up with unanswered questions, Arlene told him she wasn't going to wait around for him and he just left anyway, so I'm not sure where they stand or how long Terry is going to be gone.

Lafayette's stressed out about Tara and feeling guilty. After Arlene (who's also going through a rough time) got rude with him while he was in the kitchen at Merlotte's, he turned all demon-face and poured bleach into the pot of gumbo. He came to his senses and dumped the food right away, but that is not a good sign. Some leftover dark-drama from his relationship with Jesus, it seems.

Between the kid who attacked him last week after Jason wrecked his parents' marriage, and running into his first sexual partner (one of his teachers!) and rekindling the affair, Jason seems to be reevaluating his life as it relates to sex. Jessica may prove to be the friend he needs. Jason doesn't think it'll be possible to open up to her about his issues without wanting to have sex with her, but Jessica seems determined to try. Last we saw of them, Jessica was about to change out of her sexy dress and into some sweats so she could be a proper listening ear. We'll see how that goes though.

Speaking of Jessica, she sniffed out something yummy while shopping for clothes. She chased down the guy she smelled, but he disappeared into a field. Faery-folk? That seems to be the likely scenario. it would explain the reference the guy made to having a lot of sisters (in need of clothing). Could there be some new faeries in town?

Hoyt showed up in Fangtasia dressed all goth and looking to be made a meal of. That can't be leading anywhere good.

Finally, Andy's being laughed at (what else is new?) thanks to Holly's kids posting a picture of his naked backside on Facebook. On the bright side, a confrontation with Holly led to Andy manning up and asking her to go steady. After they aired their baggage to one another (she's a witch, he's a former V-addict living with his grandmother), they agreed to date. So cute.

Great lines worth mentioning…

"Took me centuries to realize that humans aren't just talking meat." - Roman

"Can I give you a hug without you thinking about my boobs?" - Sookie
"Probably not." - Sam

"Is she ok?" - Sookie
"Hell no, she's a vampire!" - Sam

"Knows who you had for breakfast, and where you go to ground. So do yourselves a favor, don't fuck around, ok. You guys are too cute to be goo." Majorino's character (anyone catch her name?)

"Right now, I'm fuck-buddies with the love of my best friend's life… who's a teenage vampire. That's just all kinds of messed up. But it's really great to see you…" - Jason

"You realize I'm a witch, right? My kids are delinquents. I live in a motel." - Holly
"Well, I live with my grandma. I'm an alcoholic, a recovering V addict, and the laughing stock of the Renard Parish sheriff's department." - Andy
"How'd we get so lucky." - Holly

"God gave that boy a penis and a brain. Only enough blood to run one at a time." - Tracy (re: Jason Stackhouse).

"Would you toss a newborn baby in a gutter? Abandoning a new vampire is no different. Becoming a maker is an eternal commitment. Greater than any marriage. Deeper than any human bond. To throw that away is sacrilege." - Eric

"Turnin' your own flesh and blood into a vampire. Who does that?" - Arlene

"Curl up and fry." - Sign on the window of the beauty/tanning salon.