• Fantastic Four (2005) details

Fantastic Four (2005) Synopsis

Fantastic Four is coming, and a couple of people are excited about it… though I can’t figure out why. I guess they were popular around the time Star Wars debuted so maybe they picked up some of that eternal geek love that transcends all crappiness that Star Wars seems to tote around with it by proximity. Whatever the case, the movie is coming and 20th Century Fox is absolutely determined that you see nothing about it that might make you interested in it, or not interested in it.

To that end, they’ve politely requested every website on the planet remove any materials which might even slightly be related to a leaked video containing footage from the film… a leaked video which I cannot admit to seeing for fear of being swatted upside the head by a big lawyer powered Fox marketing bat. Had I seen the footage I could tell you that the film is looking about like what you’d expect. The effects on The Human Torch look pretty cool, Ben Grimm still looks like a Rice Crispie, and The Invisible Woman… well you can’t see her which I guess is an essential. Mr. Fantastic does some fantastic stretching, though from what I saw in that rough video it’s hard to see whether that will look good, or like oversized Laffy Taffy which Sue Storm will no doubt find delicious.

Of worrisome note to some might be dastardly villain Victor Von Doom, who for the purposes of this film will be decorated like a Power Ranger villain. I guess they hired the same costume designers that worked on Green Goblin. His face is covered in middle, that according to the video I did not see and which does not exist grows out of his face. It isn’t a mask; it’s an uncomfortable growth, which eventually extends across his entire body. I’m sure it’s some comfort to The Thing that he isn’t the only guy in this movie in need of a sexual therapist.

How the movie will turn out is still up in the air. It’s the kind of thing that could go either way, but at best may end up being on par with the mediocre Daredevil. I still don’t buy Jessica Alba as a blonde, though her tight spandex makes it difficult to notice her hair.

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