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You may want to reconsider buying Modern Warfare 2 today. It seems the sequel, Modern Warfare 3, is not far behind and the Onion's got the exclusive scoop.

The "most truth to life military video game ever created," MW3 tasks players with hauling equipment and filling out paperwork most of the time. You'll also wait around for orders and cleaning mud off Humvees. Infinity Ward, your bag of tricks is bottomless.

Figured this would be more entertaining than an obligatory "Modern Warfare 2 is in stores today" article. Which it is, by the way.

Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks