Scarlett Johansson: actress, model, and...singer? That’s right. According to Life Style Extra, the new “it” girl who is in just about every movie to come out this year, has signed a record deal. Please keep your excitement under control.

Sources say Scarlett’s voice is "whispery" and she can "carry a tune nicely." This does not sound too reassuring. It's also not reassuring how people in entertainment think they can do it all—there are so many examples of actors wanting to sing and singers wanting to act. Even athletes think they can act and sing; it rarely bodes well and it is the audience who suffers most. Sometimes we pretend these painstaking discourses never even happened, like Michael Jordan in Space Jam, or Oscar De la Hoya’s atrocious effort at singing in 2000. Then there was Paris Hilton's attempt at being famous for a reason, when she released her self-titled trainwreck CD a few months ago.

Scarlett, you are beautiful and your starring role in Bob Dylan’s “When The Deal Goes Down” video is wonderful, so why are you doing this? I never thought I would say this, but how about starring in an additional ten movies this year, instead? I don’t mind looking at you, or hearing you when you recite your lines, but now I won’t be able to see you and you’ll be expressing emotions through lyrics? Don’t let it be said that I didn’t warn you: they’re all gonna laugh at you!

The CD, currently titled Scarlett Sings Tom Waits, may come out by next spring.

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