I’ve just discovered a new passion in life. It will probably keep me solidly entertained for the next several weeks, at least.

I found an anti-Nickelback forum. Yeah, a real one.

It happened pretty innocently; I was at work when “Rock Star” came over the Internet radio. I thought to myself, “God, Nickelback sucks.” I then did what I often do when letting my brain relax from my work agenda: I made a small detour to the Internet. A quick search on “Nickelback sucks” revealed, hello! One entire forum of that exact name. I needed to investigate further.

It’s a small Tribe.net forum, and it’s unfortunately plastered with irrelevant ads, almost to a fault. It’s been around for a few years, but the membership is small and the posts are relatively sparse. In other words, it has a lot of potential for your Internet-roving vomit-culture venter.

Never one to pass up an opportunity to throw tacks at bands I passionately detest, I signed myself up and created a few new postings. You would be surprised, but there are actually people who ardently defend Nickelback. I never imagined this would be the case. Their bane is the world’s growing population of Nickelback haters, and they call them “losers” and “dorks.” We, the haters, so far respond mostly with even, tempered comebacks, such as “you’re entitled to your opinion” and the like. I plan to expand upon this fair-minded approach, at least for a little while, with gross analogies and unfair, picturesque comparisons. This band’s supporters do not deserve a clement glove-slap. I will grind them into the floor, so much as a moderated Internet forum’s language policy will allow.

Do you have some unspent angst for the man with the voice like a rusty ball-bearing, and the band who gave us “the living room becomes a boxing ring” and “these five words in my head / scream ‘are we having fun yet’”? Well the URL is nickelbacksucks.tribe.net. Come on, brother, let it all out.

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