Whether you love him or hate him, Darren Aronofsky is the kind of director that film-o-philes follow around with an almost obsessive devotion. It takes him years to get a movie made, and when he finally gets one done, it’s always completely unlike anything else you’ve ever seen. In the case of The Fountain, that meant blowing some people away and alienating a lot of others. That’s alright, that’s Aronofsky.

So sit up an pay attention while I tell you what he’s planning for his next movie. It seems Aronofsky has some sort of obsession with the story of Noah. You know, the guy who built the ark, survived the flood, and then got drunk and ran around naked in front of his sons. At the age of 13 Aronofsky won a writing competition with a poem about him, and he’s remained interested in the Biblical fable being parodied by Evan Almighty this summer. Only Darren doesn’t think it’s funny. He’s taking it seriously.

So seriously that he told The Guardian that he’s already written several drafts of a screenplay about the great boat builder/animal herder. But don’t expect a Biblical epic like The Ten Commandments. Come on, this is the guy who turned an oak tree into a spaceship and convinced Jennifer Connelly that to properly portray her character she’d have to take on a double dildo. Aronofsky’s take on Noah is one that involves lots of alcohol. He says, “Noah was the first person to plant vineyards and drink wine and get drunk… It's there in the Bible - it was one of the first things he did when he reached land. There was some real survivor's guilt going on there. He's a dark, complicated character.”

That dripping noise you heard while you read his quote was me drooling. Aronofsky is a master of disturbed anti-heroes and if that’s the side of Noah he plans to explore then someone direct me to a Pay Pal account so that I can tithe a portion of my income to the project’s almost certain to be huge budget. Brilliance doesn’t come cheap.

That’s what really worries me here. It’s no secret that The Fountain was a massive, box office flop. Aronofsky movies just don’t make money, but it seems to take a lot of money to make them happen. Worse, for a Noah movie that means lots of controversy, protests, and probably condemnation from the religious right. Any studio funding it has to be prepared to be picketed and bankrupted by it. Let’s hope someone out there has the sense to back it in spite of that.

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