After years of waiting, it looks like Bill and Ted are at last about to have another excellent adventure. Unfortunately it’s not going to be an adventure any actual Bill & Ted fan will want to see. It’s a remake. Bogus.

The news comes from Moviehole, where they say the new movie picks up long after the adventures in Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. The original Bill & Ted and the Wyld Stallions, are retired. The Restart is about two new high-school kids on the verge of failing who discover a way to travel through time using the phone. They meet historical figures like Gandhi (their new short dead dude?) and form a rock group called Atomic Gorillas. It’s the original movie with probably a cell phone instead of a much cooler phone booth, and two new idiots instead of the old, infinitely superior idiots played by Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves. Most heinous, there will almost certainly be no sign of Rufus.

Basically, everything is different, but the same... things are more moderner than before... bigger, and yet smaller… it’s computers. San Dimas High School football rules!

Not excellent. I’m up for a new Bill & Ted, but not a remake. The only good news here is that MH seems to think that since it’s being done by the bunch of medieval dickweeds at MGM, it may end up being another one of those crummy direct to DVD sequels, which will make it easier for all of us to party on and pretend it doesn’t exist.

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