I keep a mental list of things that should not be remade. I know that remaks are, for the most part, inevitable in today’s way of studio thinking, but let’s be honest - some things shouldn’t be remade. Anyone making a new Wizard of Oz would have a hard time overcoming the classic musical, for instance. Or how about a new Casablanca, only we don’t want a sad ending so Ilsa doesn’t get on the plane this time.

All of this talk about a Rocky Horror Picture Show remake fits in that same category for me. Honestly, the fact that it belongs on that “don’t remake” list should be pretty evident based on the rabid fanbase that masquerades around as the characters from the movie on a weekly basis. Sure, it’s bad. Sure, it’s hokey. But the fans love it, and a new version all dolled up by MTV is more likely to alienate old fans before it cultivates new ones.

Like it or not, an MTV version of Rocky Horror is exactly what we’re getting. As if MTV’s ample pockets weren’t sizable enough, Variety reports that the project will be co-financed by Sky Movies, giving the British channel exclusive rights to air the new Rocky Horror before making it available on On Demand services Sky Player and Sky Anytime.

I try not to be a naysayer from the start, but I think we’re getting ready to witness a debacle from the very beginning. No cast or crew have been announced, but I just don’t see a Rocky Horror remake as a good idea PERIOD. Even putting Liza Minelli, Kevin Kline, and Baz Luhrman on board wouldn’t make this a good idea… although it might be interesting. I wouldn’t expect to see a cast nearly that diverse or talented for this project though. More like a combo like Paris Hilton as Janet, and Perez Hilton as Eddie. Wait, do you think they could get Flavor Flav in this anywhere? We don’t need a time warp for Rocky Horror - leave the past alone!

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