Last we heard Kal Penn's involvement in the next Harold and Kumar installment, A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas, was still up in the air. Various sources ranging from THR to White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs have both confirmed and denied the actor's return to complete the stoner trilogy. Regardless of whether or not he is involved, a script has been written by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg and from the sound of it, we should all pray mightily that Penn shirks his responsibilities to our government.

New York Magazine's Vulture has gotten their hands on a copy of the script and, shockingly, if you liked the first two films (and who can really say they didn't?), then the third will not disappoint. According to the review, the script takes place years after the events in Guantanamo Bay and the two friends are no longer on speaking terms. Harold has become a successful Wall Street executive, is living a drug free life and is married (though there is no mention as to whether it is to Maria Quesa Dilla). Kumar, on the other hand, still lives in the old apartment and, while he is a doctor, he has been suspended for marijuana use. The two friends' lives intersect yet again when a package is delivered to Kumar's apartment for Harold and he travels to Harold's house to deliver it, setting off a series of events worthy of the first two films. Check out a short list of some of the highlights below, but be warned that there may be some slight spoilers:

  • The adventure begins when Kumar accidentally sets Harold's Christmas tree on fire. The problem is that the tree was "grown special by Harold's father-in-law" and the two must go out to find a new one.

  • Apparently, the hot new toy of the season is called Wafflebot, a robot that makes waffles. I would spend an obscene amount of money to get one of these treasures.

  • A drug-addicted baby involved that the site says "makes the baby from The Hangover look like a huge prude." Perhaps my memory is a bit shady, but I don't really remember young Carlos doing anything spectacular outside of getting his head bashed by car door, wearing sunglasses, and jacking his wenus.

  • Anyone who stayed past the credits after Guantanamo Bay knows that Neil Patrick Harris actually survived the shotgun blast delivered by a pissed off Beverly D'Angelo, and thank God because you can't have Harold and Kumar without a heaping dose of Doogie Howser. In the new movie, he is hosting a TV Christmas special alongside Kelly Ripa and no doubt taking plenty of illicit drugs.

  • There is an extended claymation sequence that takes place after our favorite Asian stoners drink some "psychoactive eggnog" (I don't doubt that NPH is somehow involved in this) that leads to being chased by Evil Frosty through midtown Manhattan. According to an excerpt, Evil Frosty sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger and breaks off references to Batman and Robin (a la Mr. Freeze).

While that all sounds spectacular, one part of the article does not: they are contemplating filming in 3D. I'm fairly certain that enough railing against the third dimension has occurred on this site that I don't have to explain why this is a dumb idea. The film is targeting a Christmas 2011/2012 release, but I'm sure I speak for a lot of you when I say that they better invent the Wafflebot sooner than that.

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