Meat Loaf Brings The Light Of Righteousness

Meatloaf is a man god shaped from the matter that makes up being. When he deigns to open his mouth and let loose his sweat voice he creates entire alternate universes in the wake of his sound waves without effort. He could explode your head just by thinking of it. But he would never do that. He is a benign deity and worthy of your praise and worship.

Well the majestic Meatloaf is feeling particularly munificent this millennia (he lives outside of time you see). He's not just unleashing his new Magnus Opus Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monsters Loose and bestowing a small morsel of his greatness upon Jack Black in the Tenacious D movie. According to Moviehole he’s going to turn out our generation's Iliad and Odyssey by turning the first chapter of the Bat Out Of Hell cycle into a movie.

He's already talking to several studios about the movie, though he will not write it himself. Whether or not it happens depends in large part how many copies of his new album you buy. So start buying, because this film could possibly end humanity. Its joyous righteousness could burn wicked mankind by simply being in contact with them. It’ll be like the end of Raiders Of The Lost Ark on a global scale. For no one would be able to avoid its goodness, we’d be like moths to a flame.