I don’t know about you, but my kid’s been driving me nuts with pumpkins lately. It’s pumpkin this, pumpkin that, daddy let’s carve a pumpkin. It was driving me crazy. Until I saw this page. My god, talk about giving the Halloween season some oomph. These people are heroes. Thank god for movies, right? How else would Halloween be bearable? This week got some more flicks to add to the ever-growing list. It’s counsellors and jackasses.

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.

The Counselor
Because I don’t delve into the seedy criminal underbelly of our society, it’s difficult for me to imagine a scenario in which I’d get caught up with the “wrong people.” This is what happens when you spend your weekends coaching kiddie soccer games and running around the local park with your two year old as she insists there are purple monsters hiding under the jungle gym. Seeing as how these kinds of scenarios eat away at most of my free time, I can’t foresee a situation that places me in rooms with dudes like ten-gallon hatted Brad Pitt or a Hawaiian-shirted Javier Bardem** running drugs and getting sprayed with Uzi fire. Though it must be said, my life could use a little spicing up. Maybe it’s time to take the plunge into some nefarious wrongdoings by snapping up a sports car and packing the trunk with a few kilos. I’m creeping in on mid-life crisis time anyway. Might as well get a jump start. Who has some connections?

This is the scenario Michael Fassbender finds himself in with The Counselor. He’s in a bit over his head money-wise so he hooks up with the criminal fringes by running some drugs. Having, presumably, not seen any movies on what happens in these situations (um everyone dies) he gets in a little too deep. My prediction: it ends badly.

This is author Cormac McCarthy’s (The Road, No Country for Old Men) first script for the big screen and it appears to have the hallmarks of his novels: violence, backstabbing, nefarious characters, and relative innocents in a bit over their heads. Personally, I can’t wait to see it. With McCarthy’s script under the direction of Ridley Scott, there’s a reason to believe this could be a winner. Granted Scott isn’t always surefire. Of late he’s pumped out Prometheus (74%) and American Gangster while also helming (80%) Robin Hood (43%) and Body of Lies (54%). So it’s not like his name is a guarantor of success. But there’s simply too much talent here to believe this will be a dud. The cast is money. The writer has chops. Scott can handle a film and the trailer had my heart racing a bit. Plus it gave me a bunch of ideas for turning a little coin on the black market. Wins across the board. The Rotten Watch for The Counselor is 72%

**Has anyone shown more hair range than Javier Bardem? I mean this guy never coifs the same way twice. Whether it’s this, this classic, his do in this latest film. He brings so much to the follicle table.

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