I’m a little confused so maybe someone can help me out here. The summary for this movie explains Phantom is about a Soviet submarine and its crew at the brink of starting, what I’m assuming to be, a nuclear war. That’s all well and good. My confusion is the “Russian” part. At no point during this trailer, or maybe once, barely, did I hear anything close to resembling a Russian accent. In fact, no effort at all was made make anything sound Ruski at all. Thinking I’d been misinformed I then read the names of the characters in the film which inlude: Demi, Bruni, Markov, Pavlov, Tyrtov, and Bavenod. Not exactly the kind of names that’d appear on an American submarine roster. But there’s Ed Harris and David Duchnovy just sounding all red, white and blue while rocking everything Russian but a Ushanka. Which is all to tell me one thing: they didn’t even try with this flick.

Or maybe they did try and just felt no one would want to listen to Boris and Natasha drone on and on about the end of the world, so the Hollywood powers just think, “[email protected]#$ it, just make them sound however. We’ve got Harris and Duchovny on the hook. Get this thing to print pronto.” I searched and searched and for an explanation on this, trying to find an interview explaining the discrepancy. But much like the submarine hiding in the bottom of the sea, info on this movie is scarce to the point of non-existent. Another terrible sign.

Directed by Todd Robinson (Lonely Hearts-48% Quick note: just look at the film’s cast, it’s star-studded and completely forgettable), Phantom seems to be one of those movies that comes out and then is immediately forgotten. Kind of like Robinson’s other work. The Rotten Watch for Phantom is 27%

Which Rotten movie will have the highest final Tomatometer score?

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