Battle of the Year
Let’s put it this way, at the 0:56 mark of this trailer I turned to my buddy Pat (we’re watching the aforementioned football) and said, “Oh man, I don’t think I can make it all the way through this thing.” Mind you I wasn’t talking about the entire movie, but rather the minute plus left on the a marketing material. What a mess. Let’s go through some of the major, ahem, beats:

There’s a dance competition no one’s ever heard of that the Americans just need to win this year. They have some good dancers like noted girlfriend abuser Chris Brown and a bunch of other dudes who can cut a rug, but can’t act. So win/lose. But that’s not their problem. The big issue is they lack a cohesive team identity and camaraderie. The solution? Sawyer from Lost. He’s a skullcap-wearing basketball coach (It’s a twist, go with it) brought in to train them in a juvenile detention center along with a, wait for it, hot female choreographer that he gets romantic with. (I know it was in the trailer, but I would have easily laid out a million dollar bet this would have been part of the plot.) This rag tag bunch of world class dancers goes on to jump, jive and shake their way to a movie that looks so bad I still haven’t made it all the way through the trailer.

Yup. This is a real movie that actually got made. Directed by Benson Lee who attempts to make a flick based around his successful documentary Planet B-Boy (88%). The problem with these kind of movies is that, sure, watching crazy dancing is a good time. It’s all the other stuff like dialogue, plot and character arcs that get in the way. Move all the stuff way off to the side (like offscreen) and just let us feast our eyes on the moves man. The rest is just clutter and this flick looks terrible for it. The Rotten Watch for Battle of the Year is 18%.

Which Rotten movie will have the highest final Tomatometer score?

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