When I sit here and type complaints about whatever it is that's being remade or rebooted in Hollywood, I honestly assume my whining is just traveling off into the ether, while the producers responsible for the given remake stroll merrily along in their rich and comfortable lives. And for the most part, that's probably true, But apparently Platinum Dunes producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form pay at least some attention to online backlash-- and that might have spared us their remake of The Birds.

Speaking to journalists on the set of the new A Nightmare on Elm Street (via CHUD), Fuller said that with any project, "We lay ourselves out there and get annihilated out there online all day long, and [The Birds] just opens us up to a whole different level of annihilation.” Still, Fuller isn't quite ready to apologize for his mistake and vow to never let his producing partner Michael Bay mess with Hitchcock again. The best they got from him was a meek "It doesn't feel like that's up next for us."

But you know what's a great argument against them ever, ever going near this? Both Form and Fuller complained that birds don't do enough to build a horror movie around them. "What do they do? They peck and poke," Fuller complained, as Form interjected, "And poop." You know, when Hitchcock made the original movie, I'm pretty sure he realized this, which is why he made The Birds an exercise in sound design and cooped-up tension rather than some generic horror movie in which you look forward to all the different ways the victims can get killed. You know, like Friday the 13th, which Platinum Dunes-- of course!-- just remade.

Seriously guys. There are some stories that are only meant to be told once. While I'm sure there will never be an official announcement that Platinum Dunes came to their goddamn senses and scrapped this project, all this sounds like an admission that Fuller and Form definitely bit off more than they could chew by trying to remake a Hitchcock classic. We all could have told them this months ago, but I guess it was a lesson they had to learn for themselves.

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