Leave a Comment
- cinemablend
- Copy to clipboard

Every week I've written this critically acclaimed column there's been at least one movie to praise and one movie to pound into oblivion. Not this week my friends. We're headed into the dregs of the big screen and for the first time I'm setting the Rotten Watch at the exact same number for both movies. That's what happens when you get a J-Lo vehicle and a Sylvain White movie popping into theaters at the same time.
It's a perfect storm of suck in this Rotten Week:
It's a perfect storm of suck in this Rotten Week:
The Back-up Plan Well here's a realistic scenario: a woman that looks like Jennifer Lopez is so undesirable and unlucky when finding Mr. Right, she finally needs to head to her family-Plan B. She heads down to the fertility clinic to get turkey basted with a few magic mystery seeds so she can start having kids. But what do you know, no sooner is she impregnated than the love of her life shows up in a taxi cab. Perceived hilarity ensues. I love making fun of movies like this because, well, they deserve it. The Back Up Plan is sure to be so predictable that I'll spill the ending right now because I know exactly what's going to happen. J-Lo gets preggo, meets Mr. Right, can't tell him right away about her bun in the sexy oven, dates him, finally tells the poor sap about the kid, he accepts it even though he's confused, they prepare to be parents, something causes them to question their relationship, they work through it, fall in love and raise a family, roll credits. Plot predictability aside, J-Lo has a track record of stinking up on the big screen in awesome fashion. Not only did she aid and abet Ben Affleck by taking part in one the worst movie crimes of all time, Gigli, but she's a certified rotten recipient of critical analysis. Throughout her career she's struggled to do anything of substance in the film world, but hey, she looks good right? Rotten Watch for The Back-Up Plan is also 29%.
|
Poll
|
Which Rotten movie do you think will have the highest final Tomatometer rating?
Recapping last week: Sometimes you just don't want to be right. Last week I predicted Death at a Funeral at 33% because my ultra-secret Tomatometer formula spit out that number. If left to my own devices I would have gone somewhere around 1% with that prediction. The formula was right though as Death now hangs at 40% (even CB's own Mack Rawden says it pretty much sucked). And as evidenced by Josh's superb breakdown of remake scenes compared to the original, this thing should have been dead in the water. You win some, and you don't want to win some.
Next week we'll look at Furry Vengeance (sounds like a porn movie, but is actually a family comedy with Brendan Fraser) and Nightmare on Elm Street. It's going to be a Rotten Week!