Hide your kids, hide your wife-- the Justin Bieber 3D movie is coming this Valentine's Day, and it is a force bigger than all of us. Much like the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus 3D concert movies before it, Never Say Never is a movie with a very specific audience, and they already know by now if they're going to see it, just as they know Justin's favorite color and his entire origin story as a middle-class kid in Canada singing songs on YouTube.

So why make a trailer at all? Think of it as a dog whistle-- the people who want to pay attention to it will immediately heed the call, and those out of the loop will ignore it entirely. Figure out which one you are by watching the trailer below. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never-- which is a combination biopic/concert film, and all in 3D-- hits theaters Valentine's Day next year. You'll know it's here by the audible high-pitched screams.

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