Prepare yourself for a completely uninspiring group of movies this week. Not that they’re all bad, but it’s just a *meh* list through and through. This week we’re going red, dealing with dead cops, racing some fast snails and by the end we’ll conjure up something evil.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
As assassins and rogue government agents enter the twilight of their careers or head towards retirement, as they tuck their Smith & Wesson .45 with optional silencer into the belts of their jacked up, old person pants, they must do so hoping to retain even a hint of the skills that carried them through their careers. Gathering intelligence on the other Bingo participants. Calling in favors from other ops guys and gals to make sure their medication is up to snuff. Threatening violent force on the wait staff of the nursing home if the Jello isn’t perfectly gelatinized. Growing old means re-adjusting your skills for a new reality.
Red 2 has the gang from the surprising original back together. And though Bruce Willis, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren (joined by Mary Louise-Parker) aren’t into the geriatric portion of their arcs (they can still kick an ass or two) it won't long before Red 4 explores how they neutralize a looming threat on the shuffleboard court. In this sequel the group is out to stop a nuclear device from going boom boom all over some major city.
Red (72%) was a critical surprise, and new director Dean Parisot Fun With Dick and Jane (29%) looks to keep the tone light and the action scenes nicely juxtaposed against the age of the participants. Parisot hasn’t had too much juice in the movie game but has been working the television circuit with Justified, Modern Family and The Good Wife. I don’t expect this sequel to carry the same critical favor as the first, but judging from the trailer it won’t be far off. The tone appears comedic but tight and the cast is top rate. This group makes growing old look easy. The Rotten Watch for Red 2 is