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Has the post-holiday hangover wore off for you yet? Are you the kind of person that just likes to roll the party right through until New Years? The movie studios are content to kind of just sleep this week off, having gone all out leading into the Christmas week. We’ve only got one flick on the docket and it in involves the words "Angel" and "Death" so you know it’s going to be good.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
Rotten Watch Prediction
See what almost traumatized my kid in the trailer for The Woman in Black: Angel of Death
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A bunch of people move into a house. And everything is good for awhile. People getting along. Living life. Generally enjoying their new digs. But then things start going a little pear-shaped. Blood on the wall here. Voice there. Whispering in the darkness. Things going bump. We can explain it away in bits in and pieces. Only of course there’s a demon or something and before you know it everyone in the house is dying in ever-escalating and disgusting ways. Heard this one before? I sure hope so because this film comes out 8-10 times a year. It’s stupid. I don’t care that critics haven’t taken a collective dump on this one yet. It’s boring. Can we just take like one year off from these movies? Just one? I don’t think I’m asking for much.
In this sequel, a bunch of orphans are taken to the countryside to live in the house inhabited by the original old bag in Woman in Black (66%), ultimately discovered by Harry Potter himself. Tell me something, if you showed up at the house from the movie would you spend one freaking extra second in this thing? Much less a whole night, or even more. It’s nuts. I dismiss this flick on premise alone. I know the trailer intimates the children have nowhere else to go. But really, it’s better to be homeless. I’m serious.
Directed by Tom Harper (The Scouting Book for Boys (61%), this sequel is getting reviews in line with the original. I’m sort of shocked by this considering the major plot points are recycled. Though I suppose there’s always a chance for a few solid scares to carry the day. I think the score trends down a bit over the course of the week, though not a ton because I don’t think very many critics will see it. And I’m already against the whole thing because it almost submarined a bunch of "me" time after the holiday.
How Do You Think The Woman In Black 2 Will Do With Critics?
A super solid week for the Rotten Watch as I went 3-3 in predictions. The Gambler (Predicted: 58% Actual: 48%) just snuck in within ten percent as it dropped a bit over the course of the week. Eric sums up most of the movie’s issues in his review, taking the flick to task in a number of different ways. The major one being Wahlberg’s protagonist as nearly unredeemable. That’s a problem for a flick. If the main character isn’t someone you can watch, can the rest of the movie be too far behind?
Meanwhile, Into the Woods (Predicted: 70% Actual: 71%) was a near direct hit. My wife will be so happy. Critics enjoyed the big cast, and fairy tale scope. I, for one, can’t stand movie like this. But I’m obviously in the minority. It scored with critics including CB’s Kristy Puchko who liked the fun of the flick but admitted it got a little lame toward the end.
And finally, Unbroken (Predicted: 47% Actual: 51%) came in around the middle. This is what I suspected thanks to some early reviews. Though some critics praised Angelina Jolie for the obvious effort, the rest of the elements fell well short in a movie that, like the source material, is about nearly endless suffering. Sean admits the movie looks "beautiful" in his review and his three and a half stars seem to almost push four in the praise. But the flick has some problems in that the suffering (as we discussed last week) is nearly unbearable.
Next time around someone gets Taken again. It’s going to be a Rotten Week!