Subscribe To This Rotten Week: Predicting Minions, The Gallows And Self/Less Reviews Updates
The summer keeps on rolling on, and this week it seems as though there is something for everybody. With three movies on the docket, there’s something for the kids, the horror junkies and those who want to subject themselves to mid-summer sci-fi. It’s Minions, The Gallows and Self/Less.

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.

Rotten Watch Prediction
While watching the trailer for Minions, I found myself trying to think of who the titular yellow devels would serve in today’s modern world. Considering they need to aid the most despicable of masters in whatever scheme he/ she sees fit, there are a lot of contenders in our current world. Whether or not they would have the same kind of draw as Sandra Bullock and Jon Hamm, on the other hand, is another matter entirely.

Check out the history of the Minions with the trailer below:
In a prequel to Despicable Me, Minions retraces the steps and history of these little yellow, goggle-eyed squeakers. It seems they’ve spent their entire life span working (and failing) to serve the most evil entity in the world. Where they fail, apparently, is that they eventually accidentally off their master. From the trailer they’ve worked under T-Rex’s, Dracula, King Tut, Napoleon and a host of others. Now, we get their story (Pre-Gru) in how they came to America. It looks cute enough.

Pierre Coffin is back directing after helming both of the previous Despicable Me titles (81% and 74%, respectively). This latest looks to fall right in line with the first two. Early reviews have the flick sitting in the mid-70s already, with most critics enjoying the third installment. Some think it falls a little flat with the Minions (and their non-speaking communication) falling a little flat or running long, but that seems to be a minority opinion.

The Gallows
Rotten Watch Prediction
For many teenagers, high school is already terrifying – and one can imagine making a scary movie about a bunch of kids sneaking into a haunted school to reenact a horrible tragedy from 20 years ago only serves to accentuate the feelings of angst. Turning it into the scene of a scary crime only proves that the whole institution is a literal horror show. Murders or no murders.

See a prank gone wrong in the trailer for The Gallows below:
Producer Jason Blum knows a thing or two about the horror genre. Blumhouse Productions has put out flicks like Insidious, The Purge and the Paranormal Activity franchise. These flicks all rate high on the cling-on-to-your-date’s hand and close your eyes scale. All of the production house’s stuff hasn’t been great, but they’ve put out enough legit horror stuff to give The Gallows the benefit of the doubt. The trailer looks scary enough.

I’ve said for a while that I’m not a big horror film guy. I don’t seek the movies out and rarely put myself through the act of crapping my pants. So I won’t be seeing this flick. But for those that enjoy the genre, this film appears right up your alley. A group of teenagers seeks to put on a reenactment of school play in which a kid "accidentally" hangs himself. What ensues is the old "we can’t get out of here and someone/thing is picking us off one-by-one." Some of the imagery is startling with jostling camera work adding to the manic feeling of terror.
Self/ Less
Rotten Watch Prediction
Having one’s consciousness planted into another body would have its positives and negatives. It’d be pretty rad to chuck one’s old noodle into the brain of say, a high school aged kid. With greater knowledge and experience, we’d all have a nice go of it heading back to school and teaching folks a thing or two. On the other hand, you wouldn’t get to look at your real self in the mirror every day… and that’s gotta get a bit creepy.

Take a look at another brain switch in the trailer for Self/Less below:
Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s much to get excited about with the "old man inhabits younger man’s body" story we’ve got going here. It feels very much like a been-there-done-that scenario. Sure, it’s a super-rich Ben Kingsley trying to stave off death for a little bit by scientifically/ medically transplanting his brain into Ryan Reynold’s frame, and sure things go well for a while, but I don’t want to shock you here - eventually he starts feeling some ill effects and things begin crumbling around him. Who saw that coming?

While I don’t know every single beat of the movie, the trailer leads me to believe we are about 90% there. Kingsley gets the switch. Things are super hot and awesome for a bit. He gets some of the old body’s memories back. The lab that performed the surgery has some ulterior motives (I know, shocking) and now it’s an external fight against the bad guys along with an internal fight between the two consciousnesses. The only thing we don’t see is the ending, though I suspect that’s predictable as well.

Director Tarsem Singh doesn’t leave a great deal to get excited for with some of his other work like Mirror Mirror (49%) and Immortals (35%) falling flat with critics. The newest threatens to come in as his lowest rated work yet. It’s at 17% through six reviews so far and I’d be shocked if it climbed much higher. We’ve seen this thing before.
Which of my predictions do you think will be closest?

last rotten week I had a very solid week last time out with two wins in the critical prediction department. And though I’m happy to come close with a guess, it gives me no pleasure celebrating the score for Terminator: Genisys (Predicted: 37% Actual: 27%). As a big Terminator fan ,I’m always hoping this franchise turns itself around. Their last big hope, in my opinion, was The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but that got axed. This latest film doesn’t appear to do the franchise any favors in the "being good" department. What a shame. I suppose there’s still hope - the future isn’t written after all - but it’s been quite some time since we’ve had a lot to hang our Terminator hat on.

Meanwhile, Magic Mike XXL (Predicted: 65% Actual: 63%) was a near direct hit. I had a head start on this film, so I can’t take full, front on credit (that’s a male stripper joke, sort of) but it’s nice that I fell within in a few percentage points. Who knew a mini-franchise about male strippers could get this much critical traction? But alas, Channing Tatum seems to just melt everyone around him.

Next time around we see Trainwreck, and Ant-Man. It’s gonna be a Rotten Week!

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