Have you ever thought about what you would do if you woke up to a burglar in your room? Would you confront him, roll over and go to sleep, try to silently reach for your cell phone? Jeopardy host Alex Trebek doesn’t need to wonder anymore after he awoke early this morning to some douche bag pilfering possessions from his San Francisco hotel room. Jumping out of bed and chasing the morally-depraved thief down the hall, Trebek was ready to open up a can of whoop ass when he tripped and ruptured a tendon. Like a champ, he still alerted authorities, identified the assailant and showed up to work at the National Geographic World Championship this morning. Think about that the next time you take a bullshit sick day.

According to The San Francisco Chronicle, the woman, that’s right, it was a woman, was apprehended, taken into custody and booked on felony charges. Authorities stopped short of awarding the aging game show host keys to the city or a green belt, but something tells me the incarceration of Lucinda Moyers and the return of his valuables were enough to give Alex Trebek a solid sense of accomplishment.

Did I have this dude all wrong in my head? I’ve been watching Jeopardy everyday for ten years, and during that time, I’ve never once thought Trebek seemed like the type of guy to confront a problem head on. Whether it be the passive aggressive retorts or the cocksucker smile, I’ve always branded him as all talk. Turns out he's some vigilante badass, even if the burglar in question was a female. Admittedly, that’s different than chasing down a Hulk Hogan-looking bastard, but I’m still impressed. You never know who might be packing heat.

Alex Trebek is scheduled to have surgery on Friday and is expected to make a full recovery. As for the perpetrator, she’s likely looking at some hard time and a comically hilarious trial in which the Jeopardy host, as usual, supplies the answers.

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