Reality television star Heidi Montag is claiming fourteen hour workouts over the last two months have helped her lose twenty-seven pounds. Up to one hundred and thirty pounds after her breast enhancement surgery, she decided enough was enough and drastically increased her cardio schedule in order to shed the excess tonage. As of today, Montag is reportedly weighing in at one hundred and three and very pleased with herself.

You may remember news came out yesterday that Kristin Cavallari was looking to lose weight too, but that was only a couple pounds in preparation for her wedding. Heidi apparently felt like she needed to drastically trim down twenty-seven pounds for that gaudy and tasteless pool party she attended with Crystal Harris on what would have been the day of the Playmate’s wedding to Hugh Hefner.

I don’t even know what the most ridiculous part of this story is. Within any other news item, all three of these tidbits would stand alone for their obscene and ludicrous nature, but Heidi Montag has somehow fought back sanity and tackled a sick triumvirate of nonsensical behaviors. First, she claims to exercise fourteen hours a day. That’s six hours more than the average person who has a job works. Is she taking any weekends off? It doesn’t sound like it. Next, she’s apparently lost twenty-seven pounds in two months. That type of drastic shrinkage might be acceptable on The Biggest Loser, but twenty-seven pounds amounts to almost one-forth of her entire body weight! Lastly, she did all of this for a pool party? Not because a doctor told her so. Not because she wanted to look nice for her wedding day. Because she was going to a pool party in Las Vegas.

Speaking to Us Magazine, Montag said, “I was actually a lot overweight. It was the most I've ever been because I've kind of been hiding eating pie with my husband and puppies, so I needed to get back in shape." I guess she’s done that. Bravo?

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