No---not loveable, soft-featured playboy Stephen. Badass, out-of-control doucher Jason Wahler has been found guilty of twenty thousand dollars in damages stemming from an incident in which he punched and verbally assaulted a forty-one year old truck driver back in ‘06. The victim, Dario Stevenson, had been looking for a lifetime handout to the tune of one million dollars, but jurors weren’t quite as sympathetic to his plight as he might have liked.

According to Yahoo, Lauren Conrad’s former boyfriend called the reduced fine a victory and claimed he’s completely changed since that incident and a few other sordid arrests. Look: if there’s one thing I’ve learned during my time on Earth, it’s people never totally change. They may not behave quite as recklessly or impulsively, but fundamental characteristics always simmer beneath the surface until reemerging out of nowhere. Check back in a few years when Jason drunkenly brawls with a strip club bouncer or refuses to acknowledge paternity.

Editor’s Note: Am I the only one who thinks Jessica was actually hotter than LC during the second season of Laguna Beach? Because she was.

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